"Role Models" and "Ending" Bullying

The Super Bowl is coming up soon and ever since I started working for the theater I've been thankful for the excuse of "I have to work that day" when people ask me if I saw something specific. But as I mentioned in my recent marching band post, I don't care much for football. Of course I'm in the minority here. But I'm not going to talk about that again.

A few weeks ago Seahawks defensive back Richard Sherman gave a rather aggressive interview after his team won the game (I don't know what game it was, I don't care. What's a football?). It was deemed by many people to be unsportsmanlike and just plain rude. Of course I had no idea who this was, but I was filled in by the kitchen crew at my restaurant. They were listening to a sports talk radio program, where a table full of sports writers argued about the interview (separate issue: people get PAID to talk about sports).

Sherman's interview.

 One writer made the point that Sherman is a role model to kids, whether or not he wants to be, and comments like that wouldn't do much to benefit kids and help them to "end bullying".

For one thing, I don't think it's smart to have a football player be a role model to anybody. Many players aren't very good students, a lot of them have multiple girlfriends, they make a career by slamming themselves into other people, and most of them stop working before age 30. I never understood the logic of making them seem like heroes. It is because they're bigger than us?

Before the sports lovers make this argument, allow me: the same is true for pop stars. Take Justin Bieber and his recent DUI. Everyone lost their minds when this 19 year old singer was caught driving drunk. It would be mildly scandalous if any 19 year old was driving drunk, but this boy is supposed to be a role model so the world flipped their lid.

Bieber's mug shot. I'll admit, smiling was a weird choice.

But think of the lives these people are living. Take Bieber: he's insanely famous and he'll probably be for the rest of his life, and he's not even twenty. He is loved by young girls all over the country, which has probably got to be annoying on some level even for him. People who own stadiums and concert halls want him to make tons of money. Advertisers know their sales will skyrocket if he endorses it. Everyone wants a piece of him and will do anything to get him. Imagine what kinds of things are getting shoved in his face: booze, drugs, women (did you see Wolf of Wall Street?) His life has to have an insane amount of pressure in it and he probably doesn't know how to deal with it.

Now I'm not totally defending him, driving drunk is incredibly stupid no matter who you are. But it's pitiful, the lives these people live are so outrageous and simply by living them they are given so many expectations. Sure he might have brought some stuff on himself with his "badass gangster" image he tries to project (or whatever he does, I really don't know what the appeal is) but overall who knows? He could be deeply unhappy with himself.

"Oh the poor millionaire pop singer, I feel so bad, boohoo." Yeah, I know guys. I'm not defending everything he does. My main issue is why do these people have to be the role models for children. Why can't it be a parent who works hard or something that makes sense? Why can't a parent say "it's nice that you love Justin, honey, but remember he's a flawed person like everyone else so don't try to imitate him." Or something like that, I don't have a parenting book.

Then there's the other thing that sportscaster said about ending bullying. Now bullying has recently become a big issue in this country and there are many organization out to stop it.

But they can't.

There's no way anyone can actually end bullying. You'd have to destroy the Internet first. Take Bieber again; how many people do you know on Facebook or Twitter that made a rude joke at his expense? Is that considered bullying or just mocking a celebrity? Rhetorical question, it doesn't matter. Because the internet has made it easy to lob insults at people. Hell, you can even do it anonymously so there's zero risk at all.

Obviously bullying leads to horrible things. Hearing about a bullied teen committing suicide is heartbreaking every time you hear it. It's awful to hear things like "you're fat", "you're ugly", "you're a fag", "go die", etc. No one should have to endure it, but mostly everyone will at some point in their life.

So what is the game plan? "End Bullying". Going to schools and explaining to kids that it's wrong to be mean to kids just because they're different. Which might seem like a good plan, but the thing about bullies is they usually know right from wrong but they don't care. Usually bullying is someone projecting something they dislike about their own life onto someone else, in an attempt to make themselves feel better.

Lots of comedians get called bullies for making fun of people. I'm sure I've been considered a bully before, because I tease people and make sarcastic comments. Usually I try to make sure people understand that I'm just teasing, but sometimes they don't always think I am. Because when I'm actually angry with someone, I'm not half as witty as I usually am.

My point is, you can't stop bullying from being a thing. The world is full of different people, and that leads to conflicts which can turn ugly. The goal I think we're aiming for is not to let them get ugly, but we don't have a surefire way of preventing that just yet. Now that we have organizations like One Million Moms who claim to want to make life better for their kids but are bullies themselves (said it, will say it again), it's clear the definition of Bullying is going to remain conflicted for some time.

I think that in addition to teaching kids not to be mean to each other it's also important to teach them how to deal with being a victim. I don't mean say "just tough it up!" I mean like rationally talk to them and help them overcome it. Even if we have to tell them to get off the Internet. The Internet can bring out the ugliest side in even the nicest of people, so if people are dicks to you on it when why do you even need it?

Anyway that's my PSA on idols and bullying. If this reaches any high school students that are getting bullied, here's some advice: just hang in there (I wish I could word that more originally). High school is nothing at all like real life and things usually improve once you graduate. You can do whatever you want after you leave; you can even move away and never see your bullies again. That's not called "running away", it's "making your life better".