A pic of the jerky (or chunks) I'm making today. I'll go into further detail in the new year.
I was wondering what sort of hokey New Year's themed thing I should write today. A list of resolutions? No, screw that. See if I put resolutions on the internet, the world will know when I haven't completed them and who needs that? I mean in addition to myself knowing I'm not going to the gym, now everyone on Facebook knows I'm not going (I'm not going to the gym, I'm continuing not having a car and not eating Doritos for lunch so I'm fine thanks).
I thought about doing a list of my favorite movies or books this year, but in the end decided against it. If you read my critic blog you'll see it was kinda a slow year, I saw less than 30 movies or plays and some of them I just netflixed. So maybe that will be a resolution, try to see more than 30 things this year. Same goes for books, I don't think I've read 30 books this year and I feel like that's a low number (take this moment to feel guilty if you haven't read 4 books in the last 5 years). I'm aware these are small goals, but I'll keep any big resolutions to myself and tell you about them if I succeed.
Anyway I don't know what I'm looking forward to in the New Year or the things I'd like to change. Of course I also don't know what I'm looking forward to for the rest of my life, let alone 2014 specifically. But I can take things as they come, this could be an awesome year or it could be really shitty. Never know til it starts I guess so let's get this over with and start changing the last number of the date on our checks!
How am I ringing in the New Year? Well I don't have to work so that's pretty fabulous. I'm currently cooking some deer jerky, which I'll give a whole blog about this story later (it's also going to keep me in the house for the next six hours). Also there's leftover chili I made in the fridge that I'm going to attack soon. And then because I always need a laugh (and perhaps to encourage me to make others laugh too) I'm spending the day engrossed in comedy. Last night I stayed up watching Mike Birbiglia's "My Boyfriend's Girlfriend" on Netflix and this morning I just watched Bo Burnham's "what." (also up on Youtube). They've very different styles but are 2 really brilliant shows, I recommend them both highly. I also have Jen Kirkman's podcast "I Seem Fun" lined up, a Joan Rivers special on Netflix, and the DVD I got for my roommate: Jessica Kirson "Talking to Myself". Hopefully today is a day full of laughs (and chili, all the chili).
Tonight we're going to a little party. It should be fun, we're excited to go and we're gonna dress up and look classy. It'll be a fun day and it should lead us into a fun week. I go back to work at the theater Thursday, if you missed The Chief in the last 10 years here's your chance all over again. I'm actually going to stop now and clean up the entire kitchen because I got jerky marinade splattered everywhere. So everyone have a safe and happy night and I'll see you all in the new year.
Merry Christmas Everybody (or if you don't celebrate, happy hump day).
I'm typing this out on my ma's iPad, and I have no idea how these few pics I have are going to turn out. But to the left is a pic of our Christmas tree I took last night I wanted to share. And yeah, it's real.
We just did presents and now my ma, sister, and I are sitting around while A Christmas Story plays in the background. This movie is insanely popular, loved by mostly everyone including myself. Now I'm somewhat of a Scrooge; while I don't necessarily hate Christmas I don't really get excited about it. I loathe the many thousands of Lifetime TV Movies about white women falling in love around the holidays, and I don't even watch the old stop-motion classics. So why is A Christmas Story my one exception?
There are the obvious reasons, the reasons everyone loves the film: the classic scenes (leg lamps), the quotable lines ("he looks like a pink nightmare!"), the sweet subtle feel of the whole thing. It's incredibly well-written and perfectly cast. But I think what makes the movie so magical is the actual total lack of magic. There are no miracles, Santa Claus isn't real, and Ralphie never learns the true meaning of Christmas. It is quite possibly the most realistic holiday movie ever.
Take Ralphie: he isn't a cute kid who is totally in love with Christmas. He's like one of the "bad" kids in an animated feature, whose mind is solely on presents. And Ralphie is kind of a jerk; he's mean to his little brother, abandons a friend stuck to a metal pole, blames another friend for teaching him the F word...he's not a little angel to say the least.
But Ralphie isn't a bad kid; he's a normal kid that sometimes does bad things. And while he sometimes gets away with them, karma has a way of making him pay for it ("Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine"). His constant small-scale struggle with being a child combines with his overactive imagination is what makes Ralphie such a lovable character.
What else makes this film so great is that there is no clear message, like "Rudolph" (it's okay to be different) or "It's a Wonderful Life" (appreciate what you have, don't kill yourself). A Christmas Story shows us a typical family Christmas, for better or worse. While Ralphie goes through some troubles, there is no "laying it on thick" scene where a parental figure gives him encouragement. The emotional climax for Ralph is when he finally snaps and assaults the neighborhood bully, in one of the most satisfying movie beat downs of all time. His mom pulls him off, takes him home, cleans him up, and covers for him in front of his father. And that's that. A quiet and super real handling of a situation. A Christmas Story is like an alternative comic's Christmas movie in the way that it doesn't feel like any other kind of holiday film.
The movie is also a great way to transition a child from a believer-in-magic to a wise cynic. Case in point, one of the film's antagonists is Santa Claus. Here Santa is a pissed off, almost sadistic mall Santa whose maniacal "Ho. Ho. Ho." is so devoid of anything resembling Christmas cheer. His denial of Ralphie's request for a BB gun is the twist; in all other movies Santa would be the one to save the day, but here our hero's "last hope" fails him. But as we know, the Old Man (Ralphie's dad) gets him the gun anyway. So even as we see Santa himself denying a kid, we also see that sometimes things work out anyway, even if it's as simple as the gruff dad giving his son a BB gun. Of course, that pesky karma (or perhaps just simple irony) gets in the way and Ralphie almost immediately shoots his eye out.
The real beautiful moments of A Christmas Story don't stand out us much as the telephone pole scene, or the Santa, or "Mommy's little Piggy", etc. It's the simple moments where the family just sits around and enjoys life. Like in the real world, after the presents are opened the Christmas high is gone. As Ralphie sits with his parents on the couch after opening presents they reflect. The Old Man asks Ralphie if he got everything he wanted, to which Ralph says "Almost." The Old Man replies "Almost, huh? Well that's life." although we know he's got the gun Ralph desires. And that is a beautiful moment, a life lesson and an act of love in less than 30 seconds. The Old Man says that sure, life is disappointing but sometimes good things can happen, especially if you've got a family who loves you.
That being said, I'm going to enjoy my time with the family who loves me. Everybody have a great Christmas/holiday time today!
I have a confession to make that's startling to me: I have apparently fallen out of love with Harry Potter.
Now I loved Harry Potter when it was all the rage. I was in the stores at midnight to get the books, I saw all the movies, I listened to Wizard Rock, and I enjoy a bit of fan fiction now and then. Like seemingly the rest of the country, I was a super fan obsessed with the boy wizard.
Nowadays? Meh. I'm not saying I have a hatred for Harry Potter, nor for anyone who is still a superfan. No, this falling out of love is definitely on me.
Now of course these movies play all the time on ABC Family, which I don't watch because I'm pretty sure I have the DVDs. But it doesn't matter because the need to rewatch these movies has not struck me in months. Not that they're bad or anything, I just don't want to watch them again.
So what does that mean? People get tired of watching movies, it happens. But it's not just the movies. I haven't reread the books in ages, and I love those books. I read the Ice and Fire books now (I'm clearly a sucker for fads) and they give me my fantasy fix plus adult themes like murder and incest. So no rereading has happened lately.
I'm not sure what triggered this loss of interest, but I think it's simply time. I appreciate the things I read years ago and I love them, but I don't dwell on them anymore. I don't laugh at any Harry Potter-related jokes or gifs, because it feels like we've heard them all before.
Take for instance Harry Potter World at Universal Studios. I'm sure it's magnificent and beautiful and makes children really believe in magic. But if I die having never gone there I'd be fine with that. Of course the dark cynic in me just thinks a theme park is just a franchise's way of taking more money from you. I mean, a book series has become a THEME PARK. Kinda sad, right? It's like going to Disney World after learning there are just humans inside those character suits: the magic is gone and it's hard to get it back.
I was told you can stand in line at Ollivander's wand shop and get your own want at Harry Potter World. Here's my thing: Yes, we all want wands. We've all wanted wands since we read about them and practiced dueling in our rooms. We wanted to be wizards and witches. It was a fantasy and a fun one at that. And now we can find our wands and feel like our fantasy has come true. We'll give the wand a wave jokingly, but deep down some part of us will be disappointed to learn that we are not magic beings and that the fantasy will never come true.
Quidditch is apparently now something you can play. I've gone through Pitt's campus and seen a field set up with three recognizable hoops. And I'm sure it's a super fun time. But what we loved about Quidditch was how wonderfully impossible it was. It was played in the air! On brooms! There were balls that moved on their own accord! Again I say real world Quidditch is probably fun but I'm sure everyone playing it thinks afterwards "Damn, if only we could fly."
Recently Starbucks started selling "Butterbeer", a popular drink in the Harry Potter universe. People went nuts, acting like this meant magic had entered our world at last. I heard it wasn't very good, that it was just sugar and caramel and butterscotch. But of course it wasn't good! It's a fictional drink that was being produced by the monsters at Starbucks! (No offense Starbucks.)
So I think I've grown out of it. I'm not saying it's childish to like Harry Potter, I'm simply saying I get little out of it anymore. I know what happens, I know the funny parts, the sad parts, the beautiful moments. I know what happens to the smallest of characters and I know what everyone's favorite quotes are. I'll occasionally get into a discussion about the Potterverse. I favor fanfictions where Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan end up together, and I will always argue that the film version of Ginny Weasley is total crap compared to the book character.
But when I read a post or a tweet along the lines of "Harry Potter is on TV right now!" I just think "So what?" This is a story that is branded into our heads so I don't get excited anymore. I feel like I'm just in the phase after everything is new and before I feel nostalgic about it. When I was a kid I liked Power Rangers and Pokemon, then I backed off for a while because I was growing up and interests were changing. Now as an adult I'll occasionally revisit them and enjoy them, mostly for nostalgia's sake. But right now, I don't miss Harry yet. I'm sure a few years from now I'll wake up and think "Damn I wanna reread those books." and I will, and the love will return as strong as ever. In the meantime, Harry, I'm just gonna shrug when I see you. It's not you, it's me.
Is Ginny heartbroken? Nah, that's her resting face.
Thanksgiving morning I woke up at 8 AM, as I am prone to doing, and went out to my parents' living room. I flicked on the TV and tuned in to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC. I pick NBC because they show performances from current hits on Broadway, and I like seeing what's going on there.
The musicals perform before the actual parade footage starts, as sort of a pre-show type thing. This year featured numbers from Motown: The Musical, Matilda, Kinky Boots, and Pippin. The performances varied: I found Motown to be a boring concept, and I have no real interest in Matilda or Pippin. But I remember watching Kinky Boots (a show I heard about but knew very little) and thinking "hey, this is actually kind of cute."
And life went on, as did the parade. It had all the classics; marching bands, giant balloons, floats with music stars doing bad lip-synch...all the things we've come to expect. There were cameos from my childhood, namely the Power Rangers and the Ninja Turtles. It was a fun time.
Then today what news am I greeted with by the internet? People are outraged,OUTRAGEDthat Macy's allowed a performance of Kinky Boots, a show featuring drag queens, to air during the parade. People were bombarding Macy's Facebook page with horrible comments.
And I lost my mind.
Now granted, anyone who goes on to a business' facebook page to complain about something is an idiot child. If you end a post with "I guess I won't be shopping there anymore", you're a loser. But these people, people who claim to be defenders of Christmas, are just hateful.
This is about Christmas, a time everyone pretends to celebrate peace on earth and good will towards men. Unless of course those men are dressed as women, in which case "EW GET THESE FAGGOTS OFF MY TV SCREEN!" Christmas isn't for everyone, people: you have to be one of the good ones.
I just love how easily people think Christmas gets attacked. "OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO SAY 'HAPPY HOLIDAYS' NOW?!? WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THIS COUNTRY??" And anytime someone brings up the "War on Christmas" I get a searing pain in my forehead, because there is no such thing as a war on Christmas. Even if there were, Christmas is still celebrated by well over half the country so there is no danger of "losing" the war. But goodness, people just love to play the victim don't they? It's hard to be a part of the most popular religion in the world, isn't it?
I won't make this about religion, although I firmly believe that is the crux of this "outrage". The major complaint from the good people of Facebook is "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OUR CHILDREN?!?" That's very simple. You tell them that sometimes men dress as women and perform comedy routines for people. Because that's, um, the truth.
And can I just say, who cares about the children? I think people focus entirely too much on what "the children" are exposed to. Now if Macy's featured Santa Claus fucking a reindeer, I'd probably agree that was scarring to children. But no one did that. It was a little drag performance that could be explained in the sentence I gave above. No one said you had to explain to your kids any intricate details about sex, because there was nothing sexual about it. Just watch the number and move on to the giant floating Spongebob.
If you've never been to a drag show or met a drag queen and think they're disgusting, let me tell you something: they're not. They're human beings who are being themselves and doing what they love to do, and they deserve the right to be happy and celebrate the holidays too. There is nothing "anti-family" about a drag queen. They're actually fun; that's the point, see? They're entertainers.
And don't tell me that was an inappropriate performance. If those slutty Rockettes get dragged out into the cold year after year to kick their legs up in the air wearing no pants, then we can see a few drag queens in fabulous costumes. Men can be beautiful too.
Now I can't say I'm that surprised, really. People disagree about all sorts of things. Over my 24-hour stay with my family I was reprimanded for cursing and for telling a story about a time I got drunk. I am 24 years old and, frankly, living a healthy and safe life. But I'm not an exact version of the person people want me to be and that upsets them. But I don't care. I say "fuck" a lot and I occasionally drink. I'm still a good person, I think, and I don't hurt people. Nor do I expect other people to become who I want them to be.
And that's the issue with the parade. Some people didn't like what they saw with Kinky Boots but instead of just saying "well that was stupid" they go on a long temper tantrum about everything that is "wrong" with American and how "disgusted" and "ashamed" they are of Macy's and NBC. There are many things on TV I don't like, namely reality shows on E! and most half-hour sitcoms on right now. But because I don't like something that doesn't make it bad; as long as it isn't hurting anything what should I care what people watch?
Ironically, the actual number Kinky Boots performed had a lot to say about accepting others for who they are. And that's kind of what God/Jesus/Allah/Whoever would want you to do right? Everyone gets to celebrate holidays, including gays and transgender people. If you disagree with that, I have horrible news: you're on the wrong side of humanity. So why not take a page from Kinky Boots script and try to accept people for who they are this Christmas? And then keep accepting all year round. Because I think that's what decent people should be doing.
So, I applaud Macy's and NBC for allowing Kinky Boots to perform. As cheesy as Macy's Christmas commercials can get, their decision to be an inclusive and non-discriminating company shows that they really do grasp the concept of what the holidays should be like. This was not some political statement, no one is "lecturing" anybody (well, I'm lecturing right now). It's an award-winning musical and it was supposed to be fun. And for those of us with hearts, it was.
I'm sure I'll blog again soon, but in the meantime HAPPY HOLIDAYS FUCKERS.
I'm writing to you right now in a state of food delirium. My friends and I, all having the evening off, decided to have a little mini-Thanksgiving. The menu? Fried chicken nuggets, rice with veggies, green beans, beer bread, and noodles. I made the noodles and I also made a chocolate pecan pie for dessert. Everyone is sprawled out in the living room waiting for death while we listen to Foster the People. My friends are yelling at me, claiming I put drugs in the noodles and that's weakened them. It's been a weird evening.
Anyway I actually have a topic this time that sort of ties in with Thanksgiving. I'm going to talk about noodles. That's right, welcome to some top-rate FOOD TALK.
Ok so for years of my childhood I adored my grandmother's noodles. Like she made them for every big family gathering and I couldn't get enough of them. Instead of going for pie for dessert, I would get more noodles. I was obsessed, fat, and happy.
Then as I grew older I learned how to make these delicious noodles from my grandma, and from then on every Thanksgiving I would help her make them. The recipe, and the noodles themselves, are actually very underwhelming. These are your basic egg and flour noodles, with a splash of milk to make them stick together. Combine these things in a food processor, roll up the dough, and then cut into noodles with an electric knife. Leave the noodles out overnight and the next day throw them in some chicken broth alongside a chicken breast. Simple and delicious.
What was fun (and is still fun) about making noodles is that it doesn't have to look pretty. Noodles were any shape, size, length, and consistency. It's the perfect food for a child to help make, and for a 24 year old who likes to be sloppy. I also don't own a food processor or an electric knife, so I go old school and that shows in the result. My mother doesn't particularly like to cook and I like it enough but don't do it a lot so it's nice to make something as stupidly simple as basic egg noodles.
Due to my work schedules these past few years I haven't been able to help cook the noodles with my family on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, which is the tradition. My grandmother, who is no longer with us, did get help from her great-grandchildren and they are keeping the tradition going with my aunts, so all is well in noodleville.
While I prepared the noodles last night in my underwear with my iPhone tucked into the waistband (listening to Alabama Shakes) I realized this was a far departure from when I started making noodles with Grandma. But that's okay. Making them reminds me of her, and that's a good enough reason alone (eating the noodles afterwards is an added plus).
Anyway, Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow and that's exciting. We're doing a smaller get-together this year than we usually do, which is great. My aunts don't have to break their backs cooking this year, there will be more room for everybody...I anticipate a good time had by all. I offered to help make the noodles this year by preparing them in Pittsburgh and cooking them in West Virginia. However I was told my little cousins have grown very attached to making noodles and would likely pitch a fit if they were left out. Despite the fact that I've been throwing fits for 24 years, I decided to be the adult and let them make the noodles.
I'm going to make a peanut butter pie tonight and take it home tomorrow, at my mother's request. I was going to make a pumpkin pie but apparently my aunt's recipe makes 5 of those so it seems redundant. I always fight with my pie crusts, but lately I got lucky and was able to pull of this beauty...
Ok beauty isn't the right word. The crust falls apart kind of and we don't have a good pie spatula so I usually end up tearing it out with a fork. But hey, pie is pie, so as my mother says "Eat it and say it's good."
Alright that's it for me. Happy Thanksgiving y'all.
I tried to write this post in the comfort of my bed on my 7-year old laptop. Unfortunately it's on borrowed time at this point. The above picture is a cable I ordered that came in the mail a few days ago. It now has a nice scorch mark from the input hole on my laptop. After countless times of knocking it off the bed the thing has always been difficult to charge and now it lives to burn any cable I plug into it. I'm planning on removing any files I feel attached to from it and then "pull the plug".
So I'm writing this from my awesome desktop and I'm writing it because I don't have to go to work today (either of them) and it's the first time that's happened in a long time. And so excited am I for the day I'm going to have that I decided to write my feelings before it starts.
This week was a long one. Starting on Wednesday I worked both of my jobs three days in a row. My first job starts at 10 and my second job ends at 10. Neither job is particularly stressful, but it's just a matter of being around people and wearing pants that bothers me. But I got through it, next week's paychecks should be bangin', and I got stuff to do today (stuff I can afford, thanks to all the working).
I will share this: during yesterday's shift at the restaurant (we've had a very slow week as far as mornings go) someone put a "Kick Me!" sign on our dishwasher's back. Classic prank, right? I'm not sure why but I laughed like a little girl when I saw it. It's the little things that get you through work, am I right? I snapped a creeper picture of the sign, and gave it a weird Instagram filter because, well, bored at work.
Anyway on to today. After I finish writing this I'm heading off to the library to pick up some books I got ordered. One is a book called Haunted West Virginiaby Patty Wilson. I've been getting into West Virginia ghost/monster stories, and for a specific reason that I'm not gonna get into just yet. I'm also picking up an X-men comic and David Sedaris' Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls for when I get too scared or overwhelmed from reading about monsters.
This afternoon we're going to seeCatching Fire and I'm really looking forward to it. I enjoyed the Hunger Games book series and the second book is very good so I'm hoping the movie adaption will be a good time. Then later tonight we're going to see Blue/Orange at the Pittsburgh Playwright's Theater, put on by new theater company The Phoenix. I will review both of these things and put them on my other blog, hopefully by tomorrow evening.
And then tonight, I'm unembarrassed to say, I plan on staying in with a bottle of wine and watching Josh Hutcherson host Saturday Night Live (I don't care, I went out last weekend). This combined with seeing Catching Fire is going to make for a very heavy Josh Hutcherson day which is totally fine. In fact let's start it right now.
There ya go: a little Catching Fire preview and some arm appreciation for both sexes. You're welcome.
Eek I don't really have a topic to talk about in full detail. This blog has become a sort of diary for me, sharing my thoughts no matter if they're mundane or interesting. It's also a way for me to force myself to write something, which is not something I'm always in the mood to do. So if you've made it this far, hey thanks for indulging.
I'll tell you about the dreams I just woke up from, because they were pretty weird and scary. I went to bed last night after reading about the Flatwoods Monster so of course it haunted me a little. It's a little hazy, but I recall being home in West Virginia and there were cars full of strangers parked outside (like a family reunion, they seemed friendly but I don't know who they were). Some of the cars were on fire, others had weird bird-like creatures inside scaring the passengers. I grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out someone's car, something I doubt I'd be capable of doing in real life.
I woke up suddenly because I thought THERE WAS A CAT IN MY BED AND THERE SHOULDN'T BE. I haven't lived with a cat in a while now but I swore I felt one jump over me in my sleep. Woke me up and had my heart racing. Stupid imaginary cat. At least I hope it was imaginary, I never did check under the bed.
Alright there, my plans and my dreams. Short and sweet, and now I'm going to abandon my computer for most of the day. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'll leave you with Josh Hutcherson holding a dog.
My cereal intake. Why'd I use two bowls? I have no idea.
For the first morning I've had off in a while, I've done a load of laundry and consumed two bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It's been a good lazy morning to what was an eventful week.
Last Tuesday my roommate Mara and our friend Gailyn went to The Moth, a storytelling open mic event that I think I've talked about a few times before. This is the first time I've went without putting my name in the hat to tell a story, and it was nice to just sit back and enjoy listening to all the tales. The theme was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" and we heard stories about traveling and favorite cars that met a heinous demise. The winner was a woman who told us about when she was detained at the airport because her young son had some thumbtacks in his backpack. Next month's theme is "Home" and hopefully I'll have a story to contribute to that one.
Friday saw the opening night of True West at the Pittsburgh Public Theater (which I've reviewed on my other blog, if you're interested). Opening night is always a fun time, mostly because there's a fun after-party we get to attend. Gailyn and my friend Erika came and saw the show and then we all attended the after party. My coworker and friend Jodi had two friends come also, and it's always fun when you combine people together to drink, eat, and laugh (all of which we did a lot of). There's always fun grub at these parties; I was particularly happy to scarf down all the deviled eggs and churros I could find.
Then last night after work Gailyn and I went to Club Cafe in South Side to see an awesome concert: The Spring Standards and You Won't. I was familiar with The Spring Standards after seeing them on The Mountain Stage, but I'd never heard of You Won't. So imagine my very pleasant surprise when I was totally blown away by their set.
You Won't is two men, Josh Arnoudse and Raky Sastri, who make truly awesome music. Arnoudse plays guitar and sings lead with a high and powerful singing voice, while Sastri harmonizes and plays a variety of instruments ranging from drums, harmonica, xylophone, and the saw. Oh yeah, for at least three songs he played the saw, which is not something you see everyday and really should.
A real highlight was near the end of their set when they had the crowd at Club Cafe (a great intimate venue) form a circle in the middle of the room and shine phone flashlights on their faces while they played acoustically in the center. Sastri played an organ-esque thing that you squeeze a little (I don't know what it's called, I'll look it up later) while Arnoudse sang a beautiful ballad that I'm going to call "Fuck TV" because I don't know what it's name was. But it was fantastic.
Playing the Saw!
Acoustic circle!
Oh yeah, he hopped up on the bar a little too. Fun!
Then the Spring Standards came on and continued the fantastic-ness of the night. The trio hailing from New York City are really amazing performers, each boasting a great singing voice and the ability to play multiple instruments at the same time. They each have beautiful hair that they whip around while they sing, and despite the fact that I was tired at that hour their energy was too infectious to resist. Check them out!
We stayed for their first encore, which involved the acoustic circle and the involvement of You Won't. They sang "So Simple So True" off their double EP "yellow/gold" and it involved so many beautiful voices and, of course, the saw. Unfortunately it also featured the voices of the drunken patrons of Club Cafe who apparently didn't come to appreciate good music, because they kept talking and snickering during the beautiful moment. Some jagoff even whistled in a way to imitate the saw playing. I resisted the urge to beat him up, despite strong desires to do so.
Gailyn and I then high-tailed it out of there, missing whatever else the encore was going to consist of. Not because we weren't enjoying ourselves (we were!) but we had to walk 12 blocks to catch the last bus that would take us home. And if you don't know, South Side on a Saturday night is a shit show. Gailyn and I are both very fast walkers when we want to be and we zoomed through crowds of people. One man was lying on the ground in handcuffs while a crowd looked on, a bunch of college boys were getting into fights, some girls couldn't walk. When I drink I get giggly and sleepy, I can't imagined getting angry and/or arrested. Alcohol isn't for everyone, is it? Anyway, we caught our bus and completed our walk home without issue so it was a successful night.
Aaaand that was my week. I'm about the jump in the shower and go work a shift at the theater. Got a long week coming up, I'm working lots of shifts at both jobs. Which is great, because I like food and things, but I also like excess sleeping so it's little disheartening. But that's okay, I will make it and hopefully have some stories to tell later. Have a good week everyone!
Whoops, and there went October. Sorry, I tend to get distracted. I mean I'm not busy or anything, sometimes I just wander off and forget what I was doing. There's a strong chance I'll wander off six times while I write this and I'll be impressed if it gets posted.
So...what's new with me? Not a whole lot. Like I said, October came and went. Halloween happened, I'm sure most of you got all dressed up and ran around and what not. This evening I just rolled and cut some homemade noodles that I'm really excited for. I think I'll talk more about noodles closer to Thanksgiving, it'll be more appropriate.
What I did right before writing this blog. In case you want context.
Oooh something that happened in October: I went to the Reel Q Pittsburgh LGBT film festival. Well, okay, I went on the one night I wasn't working that week. But I had a fun time. It was held downtown at the Harris theater and I went on the "Men's short films" night. It showcased seven short films; some were funny, some poignant, and all entertaining. The good thing about short films is that if they're good, great. And if they're shitty well then luckily they'll be over soon. Even the films I didn't enjoy as much I didn't downright hate, so I'd say it was a successful night of shorts.
They give you a scorecard at the festival for the shorts and you get to rate each movie and give them feedback. Here's my list. I'll spare you me reviewing seven films at once and just say that the final two, Summer Vacation and Spooners were my favorites of the night.
Summer Vacation was an Israeli film about a young couple enjoying a beach vacation with their children that gets disrupted when the husband's former/secret lover happens to be staying on the same beach. It was the longest of the short films but was very well-paced. The characters were fully formed and developed as we watched the husband go through some heart-wrenching stuff. It was a very effective short drama.
The cast of Summer Vacation
Spooners, which incidentally won "Best Male Short", was a hilarious story about a man trying to purchase a mattress for him and his husband. The man is uncomfortable about telling the world he is shopping for himself and another man, and unfortunately for him his fears are trudged out in front of everyone at the Ikea-ish furniture store. An overeager salesman shows the man a high-tech talking bed that picks a mattress based on your lifestyle. After learning the man is gay, disco music plays, an audience is drawn, and the computer proceeds to ask questions like "describe your body type as it is listed on you Manhunt profile." A very funny and tender film from beginning to end.
The crowd gathers to watch this gay pick a mattress.
Alright, what else happened in October? Ooh I took a trip to Morgantown last weekend. I have a few highlights from that.
I was going to Morgantown to visit my sister, see a show West Virginia University was putting on, and have a fun weekend off. I took the Megabus down on Friday. It was packed full of college kids, naturally. I brought a book (The Telltale Lilac Bush... for all you WV ghost story fans) to read and some podcasts to listen to for the relatively short trip.
I was going to put the picture of my actual copy, but my computer is being way stupid at this late hour.
But distracting me from my book was the chatter of a trio of college girls a few rows behind me. Now I don't want to shit on my school, because I'm sure all colleges are like this, but HOLY CRAP. College girls can be morons. One girl expressed surprise that there were deer in New Jersey. "Are there deer in South Carolina?" she asked her friend who lived there. "Wait, are there deer like throughout the country?" She eventually googled "Do deer live in all the US?". She read the answer aloud to her friends.
Another girl confessed she didn't know tuna was a fish, like an actual fish that swam in the ocean. I couldn't hear what she did think it was (I assume she thought it was like Spam?) but she was surprised to see how big tuna were. Because how could they fit in that little can? I wanted to scream.
These girls were also upset at how late the Megabus was in getting us there (fact; it was about 15 minutes late, which is acceptable to everyone). I'm not sure why these girls were in a rush to get there, they clearly didn't have a zoology course to get too where they learn that tuna are fish and that deer have legs. The girl next to me couldn't take her fingers out of her fake-black hair for one second. The boy across the aisle held a toothpick in his mouth the entire time. I was relieved to finally get off the bus.
That night we saw WVU's production of Cabaret. I saw a few of my professors there (I was a theater tech major) and it was nice to catch up with them. Judging by the beautiful set that folded in on itself, it seems the tech department still likes to keep its students busy. I won't go into a full-blown review, but Cabaret is one of my favorite shows so I had a good time.
The rest of the trip remains a blur. Overdid my drinking Friday night, like some 24-year old freshman. Shout out to my sister for taking care of me when I wanted to die. Next morning I did my hangover-cure routine before the rest of the house woke up and then we watched Cloud Atlas. It's 3 hours long and it's stupid. Then I hung out with my buddy Jack for a bit and later went to a costume party (I agreed to be the sober driver, it seemed fair). Saw a few kids from high school at said party, which was a nice thing even though I hate crowded house parties. The real highlight of this evening was watching Spock make out hard and heavy with Princess Leia. People took pictures of them and they didn't even notice. Good stuff.
I think that's it. That's the short/sweet version of my October. Ready for November.True Westjust opened at the Pittsburgh Public Theater. I have a lot of fun things ready to do this week that I'll probably yack about soon. Probably have some good stories too once Thanksgiving rolls around. So yeah, hello again internet. Let's keep in touch.
Here's something you may not have been expecting: this morning I want to a horror convention. More specifically, it was Horror Realm Con, a convention held in Pittsburgh (at the Crowne Plaza) for people that love all things involving zombies, B movies, blood and much more. It features many different vendors (like most conventions do), celebrity guests, and video screenings.
My good friend Gailyn and I decided we were going to go to this. Because we worked Friday and Saturday, we went this morning for the last day. And damn did we have fun. Here are the picture highlights:
First off we visited with PJ Soles, known for her roles in Carrie, Halloween, and Rock N' Roll High School. Gailyn and I are both socially weird people, but Ms. Soles was a very friendly and sweet woman who chatted with us for a bit before getting pictures.
Next up we saw Amanda Wyss, who you probably know from A Nightmare on Elm Street. She was also incredibly sweet, asked us about our majors and said we both looked 14 (which I was later told was laughable in my case). We told her that we moisturized and talked about theater a bit.
I'll confess now, the main draw of this convention was that Nicholas Brendon, who played Xander for 7 years on Buffy the Vampire Slayer(my favorite show) would be in attendance. I actually learned of the event through his twitter account, so I will never mock Twitter as useless again.
He was a super sweet guy, who generally seemed happy to see and talk to fans. We each got a picture, Gailyn got an autograph (I'd spent too much already for an autograph, but I wasn't mad.), he gave us multiple hugs. We were very happy campers.
I usually don't fangirl with the potential of seeing a celebrity in person, but for a Buffy cast member (and he was one of THE BEST characters on that show) I'll make an exception. We managed to keep our composure at a mostly not embarrassing level and when we left we had to sit down for a bit.
We saw a few other people, some from famous (or infamous) horror movies, some makeup artists. Nivek Ogre (from the band Skinny Puppy or the film Repo! The Genetic Opera) walked by me in the hallway and said "hey you" even though we hadn't met earlier. So that was pretty cool.
We looked a lots of different items, like T-shirts, movie scripts, posters and blades (I resisted spending money I don't have on a sword). Then we got some cookies from a place called Stop and Smell the Flour that make cookies/cupcakes for various events. Check them out!
And finally, I will present to you my stash. This was what I came home with:
Starting from the left: A drawing/business card for Angry Gnome Comics. (Not pictured but deserving a shoutout was the work by artist Byron Winton.) A Power Rangers comic and a Phoenix comic. A solo role-playing game called "Zombie Death Town" and a book of zombie stories called "Zombies! Fuck!". The little vial contains fast-drying blood that is also edible. Two DVD's, one of Carrie the musical and one of Evil Dead the musical (both filmed stage versions of average quality. And a The Cabin in the Woods poster. Looks like a lot, but for the record nothing in this picture cost more than 10 dollars.
So that was my day. It was pretty freaking fantastic and I'm so happy I got to experience it.
Here's something I've been wondering about lately: why do people take selfies?
If you don't know, a "selfie" refers to when a person takes a picture of themselves with their camera/phone and puts it on the internet.
This is what every selfie looks like to me. Do we really need more of these?
Now of course there are obvious reasons why you'd do this. Nobody could be around to hold the camera for you, you might just want a new profile picture, etc. My favorite is when people are on vacation and take a selfie and say "Can't believe I'm here", but we don't know where "here" is because 95% of the picture is taken up by their face. But I'm talking about the people that post pictures of their face on a regular basis and my question is why.
I have a few friends that post selfies regularly, and let me clarify right now this blog is not directed at any one person specifically. These are just my feelings towards the entire ordeal. I put up on my twitter and my facebook a question "Why do people take selfies?" and no one bothered to answer me.
Of course, no one probably cared enough to answer, which is totally fine. I'll openly admit this is a dumb topic to talk about. But the people who do take selfies didn't answer me and you know why? SHAME. They don't have a good reason.
So here's what I think. I think a selfie is the internet's version of grabbing someone by the shoulders and yelling "TELL ME I'M PRETTY!!! TELL ME!!"
Am I wrong? People post selfies for the attention. Which is fine, it's what the internet is for. I post little jokes and statuses and I like when people say it's funny or whatever. But what I hate is that maybe 3 people will like a joke I make but hundreds of people will like someone's duck-faced bathroom selfie and comment shit like "Gorgeous". Give me a break.
I get that their argument is probably a confidence issue. I'm no stranger to shitty self-confidence, everyone has to deal with it from time to time. But there comes a point where confidence turns into vanity, and a lot of people have crossed that line.
Because here are my hippie-dippie feelings about it: if you need constant approval from the rest of the world telling you you're pretty, then you probably don't think you're pretty. And that's the problem. The only person you have to convince that you're attractive is yourself. I know, I know, I'm getting all "Oprah" on you. But seriously, work on that self-confidence. It doesn't come from other people. It's about you.
Then there's the people who claim to consider themselves ugly but still put selfies on Facebook, in an attempt to look brave and get people's reassurance. Stop that: if you truly had issues with yourself you wouldn't be plastering your face onto the internet for the whole world to see. You're not a hero, you're an asshole.
So I don't know what I want from selfie people. Stop? I guess you don't have to. But really I don't know why you wouldn't. Once you've seen one picture of your face you've pretty much seen them all. So I don't know...maybe acknowledge the fact that you're acting like a teenage girl? Oh whatever, in one ear and out the other I guess. Go to your bathroom and take a picture of yourself giving me the finger. I'm sure I deserve it.
Alright so if I have any regular readers (Hey guys! ...Mom.) then you already know I tend to talk about stupid trivial things (see last week's Miley Cyrus post or the one before about Power Rangers). I don't apologize for these; they're meant to be silly little things to make people laugh and for me to express feelings.
But now I want to talk about something serious. Well, I don't really want to, just a few people on Facebook were all "why is no one talking about Syria?" so I decided I would do just that. Or I'll at least try my best.
I don't watch/read the news regularly. My grandfather always watched the news and he was always angry about something. Which makes sense; there's always something to be angry about. But in my mind watching the news is just a new way of upsetting yourself so I try to refrain from doing so. So I didn't know what was going on with Syria.
Then a friend on Facebook posted a link that was essentially "Idiot's Guide to What's Going on in Syria", or as it is actually called: "So What's Up with this Whole Syria Thing?" It's a really great Powerpoint-esque explanation of what's happening, and it was exactly what I needed. If you yourself don't know what's going on, take a few minutes, click the link, and get caught up.
The article was written before President Obama's decision (or whatever large group of people makes such decisions, I shouldn't put it on one person) to use force against Syria. And now this is what people get to argue about. Should we use force to make things better? Or is violence never the answer?
Personally, I hate violence and bombs and guns. I play violent video games like Saints Row, because to me that's just fantasy and escapism from the real world. I cannot imagine anything on this planet that absolutely needs to end with killing a bunch of people. I still don't understand why people can't just sit and talk and drink water and work shit out.
But they say war is a part of life. I don't understand why, but it apparently is. So I'll just say this to you people: I have no idea what we should do about Syria.
I don't have the first clue to how war works. Will using force convince Assad to knock it off? Maybe. Will it cause more problems? Maybe! I don't KNOW! I also don't know the first thing about running a country. When I used to play The Sims I would sometimes get bored, lock them in a room with no doors, and watch them starve to death. I'm not someone who knows how to fix things!
So that's it, the embarrassing truth: I'm talking about Syria and I have no freakin' clue what I think. Maybe that makes me an idiot, or maybe I'm just a sheep who doesn't concern itself with stuff outside its own little life. But I'm sorry, this problem feels much bigger than me and I have no idea what to do or say about it. All I'm going to do is hope that the people who are dealing with it will make the right decisions and hopefully one day something resembling peace will be reached.
So I'm sorry people. I hope no one's lost respect for me. The rest of this month's postings will be the usual silliness. And I am concerned with what's happening in the world; I just don't know what to say about it. Chances are a 24-year old theater graduate who blogs in his spare time doesn't have the answers to ending wars.
I woke up this morning feeling almost a tad hungover. Which was very confusing because I hadn't had anything to drink the night before. Turns out I simply had leftover emotions from the concert I went to last night at the Altar Bar. Last time I went there I saw the great Wanda Jackson. Headlining this concert: cello rock star Ben Sollee.
I feel like I say this a lot, but I first saw Ben Sollee when he performed at Mountain Stage in Morgantown a few years ago. He performed a short set, as is customary at Mountain Stage, but it was enough for me (and my sister) to become fans. I learned he was going to be at the Altar Bar, asked my sister if she wanted to go, and quickly purchased tickets.
It was a simply amazing concert. Doing a full 2 hour show was a major improvement and we really got to see Mr. Sollee show off his talents.
The cello is a favorite instrument of mine. I love string instruments when they're played expertly and properly, and I have a great respect for people who have mastered playing them (I gave two attempts to learn guitar in my life and gave up quickly. No patience for that). And Ben Sollee is definitely a master of his craft.
Below is the video I took of him performing "Prettiest Tree on the Mountain". A song my sister likes to say is about her. (It isn't.)
Accompanied by a drummer and a bass player, Sollee performs his songs with an amazing supply of soul and energy. He is definitely the kind of musician that deserves to be seen/heard live. His songs are terrific enough on his albums (Inclusions and Half-Made Man are the more recent ones) but hearing them live excels the experience. Mostly because he takes the time to do some great extended cello riffs or the occasional drum solo from his just-as-talented drummer, Jordan Ellis.
I always try to remember what songs stuck out to me. I jotted down the titles in my phone but then I forget the specific reasons why I liked them. But my personal favorites were "Teach Me", "It's Not Impossible (Boys Don't Cry)", and "The Globe". Then there was the 4-song encore ("I just don't feel like stopping" Ben would say with a sly smile) that included their first live performance of Harry Belafonte's "Dolly Dawn" (he should sing that a lot more often) and a very fast-paced version of Ben's "Bury Me With My Car".
Here is the drum break (box..break?) and also the last verse of "Bury Me With My Car".
So anyway if you haven't been clicking these links or videos DO IT because he's a great musician who gives outstanding concerts. Check him out.
Also I should mention his opening act, Circles & Squares, which is a fresh group that they said was formed roughly a month ago. Last night was one of their first outings and they did a great job getting the crowd all excited for Ben. I'd definitely listen to them again. So go to their Facebook page, give 'em a like, and hopefully we'll be seeing more of them soon.
By the time I put this post up, I will be halfway through my 2 weeks notice for a department store I have spent the last 2 years working at. Now don't get too excited for me; I'm just replacing one part-time job with another. But the new job is easier to travel to and in a nice neighborhood so I'm anxious to start it.
The department store I worked at was a constant source of jokes, pictures, and stories for me. Sure, I complained about it (I complain about most things) and I never thought I'd do a whole 2 years there. But all in all I think I'll look back on working there fondly, remembering the good times I had or maybe just the weird things I saw.
Here are 5 things I'm going to take away from my years in retail:
1. A Job is a Job I learned years ago (when I worked for peanuts at a Rite Aid) not to judge people by what job they have. I fear that it has become very easy for people of my generation who went to college to automatically judge people that work behind counters. I understand why: you have a degree that you allegedly worked hard for and you think that's earned you a feeling of superiority. Well it shouldn't; the fact that you went to college most likely stems from the fact that your parents had money and/or you had decent grades. Big deal, that doesn't make you a better person.
Very few people in this world choose retail as their ideal career, but they do what they have to do to get by. And getting by is hard, too. And I don't mean "no money for pizza this week" hard, I mean like actually struggling to make ends meet. I'm not preaching, just saying that for a (hypothetical) snotty grad student to judge a cashier who's just trying to feed her kids is fucked up.
2. People are Nuts
Here's something we all know, but those of us in retail truly see it: the general public is insane. And I don't mean just mentally insane (although I have stories of that too) I mean downright weird. People who line up at the department store doors at 9:30 to wait for it to open? Go do something else. It ain't Disneyworld, there's very little to see.
I have seen some crazy things. We had a woman who liked to yell at the sidewalk outside, then would come in the store and yell at the socks. Another older woman was sitting in the shoe department as my friend and I were leaving the store. As we passed she said, loudly, "I'm just waiting for my bird!". We kept walking without breaking stride, because you shouldn't bother a woman who's waiting indoors for her bird.
3. I Cannot Take Meetings Seriously
Probably one of my least favorite things about working for a corporate retail store is the inane customer service meetings we are forced to sit through. I get the purpose, kind of. But the "themes" and little slogans they come up with just shows that whoever's getting paid the "big bucks" has little to no knowledge on how to talk to real people.
The last customer service meeting I had to go to was on how to make a presence. We were asked "what are the ways you can say "hi" on the sales floor?"" Asking someone how to say "hi" is not a question for an adult human. We all know how to say hi. The meeting could easily be "talk to the customers more" and that's the end of it. But it has to be strung out for 20 minutes as we all mumble out different responses.
Oh yeah, and I giggle during these meetings. Because they're lame. And lame things make me giggle. Which in turn makes me look like an asshole.
4. Always Wash Things When You Buy from a Store
Listen, I'm not a germaphobe or anything but...you should wash all clothes before wearing them. I mean really. I drop things constantly. Unfortunately it's usually glassware. But I've also dropped clothing onto the floor of the dirty stock room. Where people walk. I've also been surprised by an unexpected sneeze and covered the clothes I was folding in my spit. Shit happens. Just wash your clothes before wearing them.
5. Christmas is NOT the most Wonderful Time of the Year
Show me someone who claims to enjoy the holiday season and I'll show you someone who's never worked a day in retail. What's to love? The overstocked backrooms, the never-ending supply of customers, longer hours but no extra money...and the music. Oh the Christmas music day after day for a solid month is enough to drive anyone insane. My least favorite was always "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime" and I am so thankful I'll never have to hear that song again.
So that's that. I'm looking forward to starting something different now. I will miss my coworkers, who have been great characters that kept me from total mind-numbing shutdown these last few years. However I eagerly await a new adventure which will hopefully supply me with new stories.
