Craigslist and Invisible Me

This may come as a surprise to you, but there are a lot of freaks on Craigslist. If you have some downtime (and if you're reading this, you have downtime) click over to Craigslist and click away at the rent ads or the personals. Remember if a personals posting has "picture" next to it, you may wanna click at your own risk.

Lately I've been trying to find myself a cheap room, so I've turned to Craigslist on more than one occasion. I tend to overlook some of the "shadier" postings and I have managed to find a few cool rooms. It's a matter of avoiding people who seem a bit...off...

Take for instance one poster who was looking for a "semi nude roommate". As in, he wanted a roommate he could be comfortable being naked in front of, since he doesn't always wear a towel out of the shower and things like that. Granted, for most people this would be called a "deal-breaker". I could tolerate semi-nudeness, I think, but not as the crux of the advertisement. The poster made no mention of utilities or location...just "hey, I get naked. That cool?" That depends, who's paying for electricity? You are?!? Hell yeah it's cool, let's see it.

I'm kidding.

But today I had a fairly sketchy encounter as the Universe told me to stop looking at Craigslist for a bit. Today I went to look at a house with a room available. The rent was super cheap so I jumped on it. I spoke to the man 'selling' the room, Max, last night on the phone. He informed me that he, his son, and two other men lived in the house and there were three Cocker Spaniels. I was already half convinced I did not want this room, but decided to go for shits and giggles.

So today I hopped on a bus and took a brisk 20 minute walk to this house. It was in a clean enough neighborhood and the house itself was pretty decent-looking, if maybe a bit dirty. I get up on the porch and the big front door is open but the little 'screen' door isn't. I knocked and sent the three dogs (knew I had the right place) into a barking frenzy. Yet no one came to the door.

I stood on the porch a bit and eventually a man came off from the street and let the dogs out. He was petting them and he knew their names, so I relaxed a bit. Before I could try to introduce myself, Max came out of the house. Max was an older man, in his 60's, and he looked a bit "disheveled" and had a slow way of speaking.

Max and the guy from the street (let's call him John) proceeded to have a conversation RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and neither of them bothered to introduce themselves to me. So I stood there, nodding along like I was a part of this lovely porch chat. Eventually John told Max he would take the dogs for a walk around the block and he'd be back soon. Max said "alright, I'll be working in the yard." and went right back into the house, leaving me on the porch.

I was, you might guess, confused.

Who doesn't say anything to a stranger on their porch? I could have shot them both! I felt like I just wandered into some scene in a play that I wasn't supposed to be in. After Max went inside I looked around, thinking maybe there was a hidden camera across the street or something. Then I really started to panic: had I finally turned invisible? I looked at my own hands in disbelief. I couldn't be invisible; the bus had stopped for me.

The whole day I was trying not to be a wimp about everything (the neighborhood wasn't really one I'd pick). But finally I just had to face facts. I told myself "This isn't the place for you. It's in a kinda shitty area, it's a long walk to your bus, there are 3 dogs here that will always be barking, and the guy who owns the place can't SEE you. Move on."

And so I did. I just awkwardly left the porch and walked back to my bus stop. By the time I reached the end of the street I was giggling at how absurd that had been. I came home, removed the number from my phone, and marked dear Max as "spam" in my email.

What's my moral here? For one thing, Craigslist isn't all bad. But, like everything else, eventually something bad (or just less good) will come your way. Just make sure you go in the daylight and bring a large knife.

New Cult Classic Submission: RV

I'm gonna attempt a new recurring segment (which for this blog, means "I may do this twice"). A lot of films are obvious cult classics: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Army of Darkness, Reefer Madness, just to name a few. These movies didn't do well in their prime, but live on in the hearts of many who enjoy watching them on DVD and poking slight fun (that's a basic definition of a cult film, more or less).

Then there are films like Hocus Pocus and The Goonies that seem to have gained a cult following based on the number of times they've aired on television. So I'd like to look at a few films that maybe didn't draw a lot of attention when they originally aired, but I think deserve a second look. Forget thinking of these movies as "movies" and start watching them tongue-in-cheek.

I have quite a few potentials lined up; I'll start with one of Robin Williams' least-talked-about movies: RV.

RV is a family vacation comedy about a man who drags his family on a cross-country vacation in an obnoxious RV, although he really is traveling to Colorado to present a merger proposal for his boss' company. Cult Indication: The plot is stupid.

RV didn't do well in theaters, and frankly it's not terribly unique (a poor man's National Lampoon's Vacation, one might say). But TBS keeps airing it and I have to say, like drinking wine, it gets better when you do it repeatedly. Here are some of the reasons I think RV will be a cult classic.

1. Robin Williams is a good sport
So it's not his greatest role. Not by a long shot. He still tries though. Williams always has charisma (to me) and so I love watching him deal with his family and coworkers, all who are essentially assholes to him. Whenever he mutters something sarcastic under his breath I always chuckle. Perhaps it's the child in me flashing back to his work in Aladdin, but Robin Williams will always be someone I root for. Even if he's covered in shit.

It should also be mentioned he works well with his co-star Cheryl Hines (not his best scene partner ever, but whatever) but really shines when yelling at Lola, the voice of his GPS. We've all been there right? My family calls GPS "bitch in a box". It's cute.

2. Kristin Chenoweth is in another "piece-of-crap" film
I love the Tony and Emmy-award winning actress as much as the next guy (I wept when they took off Pushing Daisies)...but let's get real: any movie with her in a big role has never done well. Not that it's her fault it's just...she does bad movies? Come on...the neighbor in Bewitched...Danny DeVito's wife in that holiday movie...that new movie Hit and Run that looks dumb.

But, like Robin Williams, she always has fun in her movies. She plays the wife and mother in a roaming, yodeling, trailer-riding family. I mean, come on, this is definitely a role for Chenoweth.

3. Josh Hutcherson's character is ridiculous
Future Hunger Games heartthrob Josh Huthcerson plays Robin Williams' little son in this movie and it's so bizarre. The kid weighs about 60lbs but is a weightlifting rapper. The term "wigger" is crude and maybe only slightly accurate, but that's what we're looking at here. But somehow it works: the little weirdo's excuse for not wanting a family vacation is "no one has thought about how this will effect my weight training schedule". He's like 12.

Here's Josh and a few other "thugs", along with Robin Williams throwing down.

4. This film is like a real family vacation...more or less.
Alright, so in one scene Robin Williams walks INTO A LAKE and drives the RV out of it. And the RV is still running. And no one questions that. It's an absurd moment (one of many) in the film which when you pause to actually think about it, it's hilarious.

But aside from the occasional lapse of reality, this film can ring true. My father loves watching this movie on tv because he states "this is just the kind of shit that happens on vacation". He's mostly referring to the "everything that can go wrong, will go wrong" rule and the unspoken rule that only one person on vacation really wants to go.

5. It ends with a music video; no reason.
The end credits of this film are an absurd two minutes, featuring the cast singing "Get Your Kicks on Route 66". It starts with the couples singing in pairs, which is fine. Cheryl Hines milks her comedic skills as the tone-deaf wife. Kristin Chenoweth yodels for a bit, then hits an opera high note to remind us that she's a star. Then Josh Hutcherson...raps...while Hunter Parrish gives us a beat...time usually freezes at that point. And then Jojo, who has the most boring role of "bitchy teen" finishes the song. What's great about this movie is that it will remind everyone who Jojo was.

So there we go. Just a few of the reasons I think RV should be considered a cult classic. What do we think?

I'd actually like to get people's opinions so LEAVE A COMMENT on this page of what movies you think should be considered cult classics and maybe I'll write about them for "submission". Ooooh interactive blogging, how fun!