My Life in Video Games

I have now reached my favorite summer activity: staying inside away from that pesky sun and playing on mu computer for hours on end. It makes me nostalgic, so I figure what the hell I'll make a list of all the video game heroes that have accompanied me since I was a youngin'. So here we go, starting with the earliest I can remember:

1) Mario (and friends) Super Mario Bros (NES)

 I know, I know, how original. But what can I say? Mario was my first video game love. My Nana and Grandad lived away from me at the time, and my aunt lived with them and had a Nintendo (I never actually owned one myself). I loved playing Mario Bros on it, I would actually play as Mario and Luigi and switch controllers whenever the other brother died. It was the beginning of an addiction.

Mario stayed popular with me, mostly for the Mario Party series (which apparently, on easy mode, plays itself) and the many sports titles. And, of course, cannot forget tearing up the tracks with Princess Peach in any version of Mario Kart. I don't have a Wii (and don't want one) so I haven't seen the Bros in quite a while, but they hold a special pixel place in my heart (and the hearts of many, including this talented guy).

2) Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (SEGA)

  Another classic, but for good reason. Again, I never owned a Sega but my cousins did and I could spend hours on it playing Sonic the Hedgehog. Racing through super fast tracks as little old Tails flew behind me, not really adding anything to the situation, but somehow being a comfort. Like Mario I never got very far in terms of progress (this was before you could save games, you know) but I MASTERED the art of not blinking while playing. The Sega really knew how to make your eyeballs sweat.

Unlike Mario and friends, the Sonic gang didn't stay strong with me. Countless titles popped up, but I think the last one I played was Sonic Heroes, which was a fun time but didn't really stick with me. While I like the wide amount of characters in the Sonic universe (Dr. Eggman is one of the best villains ever), a lot of them were pretty one-note.

3) Toejam and Earl, Toejam and Earl (SEGA)

Earl (left) and Toejam. They're from Funkotron. They rap too...it's a beautiful game.

Sweet wounded Jesus. I loved these two. In one of Sega's biggest hits, you played these two aliens as they wandered around earth looking for pieces of their wrecked spaceship. Along the way you fought the evil Earthlings, which included a woman pushing her baby in a shopping cart, a crazed dentist who poked you with his drill, the terrifying BOOGIE MAN, and a group of intellectuals called the Nerd Herd.

Toejam (center) wears a pool floatie while being ambushed by Cupid (left) and a Shopping Cart Lady (right).

This game is what I think of when I think of 90's video games, especially ones that weren't afraid to go for comedy instead of gameplay. But the game was fun and addictive. That being said, I never won. But I tried, god how I tried. What happened to these two? Well Sega released a side-scrolling sequel that I never played, but others seemed to like well enough. Then the Xbox released a third in the series and....well that's best forgotten.

4) Crash Bandicoot (and friends) Crash Bandicoot 2 (Playstation)

Alright, this series is hands down one of my favorites, and I never owned (but did complete) the original game. I started with the sequel and my love affair continued for years. The gameplay was simple and fun: take Crash, this genetically modified bandicoot, as he travels through jungles, temples, and castles to defeat his evil creator, Dr. Neo Cortex. Like Mario, the series evolved to include spinoffs like multiple racing games, a rather poor party game, and crossovers with another Playstation mascot, Spyro the Dragon.

Dr. Neo Cortex, mad scientist and antagonist of most Crash games.

Dr. N Gin, another villain who has a rocket stuck in his head. He started off as an Igor-like villain but grew into on of the series funniest characters.

 The Bandicoot went through many developers: the original, Naughty Dog, created the classic formula, giving us a likable hero and fun obstacles for him. Then Traveller's Tales took over, and after a mildly fun fourth game, unleashed Crash Twinsanity. In addition to fun gameplay, comedy and characters were amplified as in Twinsanity Crash had to team up with Cortex to save the world from The Evil Twins, who were Giant Birds. This new comedic feel (combined with an awesome soundtrack by acapella group Spiralmouth) breathed fresh life into the series.

 5) Mega Man Volnutt and Tron Bonne, The Megaman Legends series (Playstation)

The Mega Man Legends series is often forgotten about by most die hard Mega Man fans, because it is so radically different from the classic side-scrolling 2D games Mega Man is famous for. In Legends, we follow a young boy who is part machine as he flies around in an airship with his foster family, digging for treasure. Among the obstacles that stand in his way are underground robots, called Reaverbots, and all sorts of Pirates who want to get to the treasure first.

The most popular of those Pirates in the Bonne family, composed of Tiesal, Tron, and baby Bon. They battle Mega Man in a variety of different robots, as well as order around their Lego-like henchmen, the servbots. Tron became so popular they created a prequel game The Misadventures of Tron Bonne, and she is still around in the Marvel vs. Capcom fighting series.

Art of Tron as she stands over her battle armor, the Gustaff.

Honestly, while I still have the games I don't play them a whole lot. While they are still crazy fun, the graphics are a little blech and the voices are that over dramatic Japanese dubbing that got so popular. However once in a while I will pick up the games and revel in the great science fiction world they created, and will regret Capcom's decision to cancel Mega Man Legends 3.

6) Pokemon, Pokemon (Gameboy)

 I'll be quick about this. Yep, I played Pokemon. Yep, to this day my best friend and I will play Pokemon Puzzle League on her N64. I only got as far as the Silver/Gold series and I always had Bug type Pokemon in my roster (unless I had to fight someone who liked, ya know, fire). I have little else to say. Sometimes I wish I still had my Gameboy to play this once in a while. Pokemon was a gigantic hit for my generation and I feel like you can't really call yourself a child of the 90's if you didn't play it.

7) Sora (and friends), Kingdom Hearts (Playstation 2)

 Alright, I'll admit it: I'm like seven years old. I never played a Final Fantasy game, but when the creators of that series teamed up with Disney to create an epic adventure game, SIGN ME UP. The series follows Sora, a young boy chosen to wield a weapon known as a Keyblade, as he travels to different worlds to prevent them from disappearing into darkness due to the evil Heartless. The twist? The worlds are locations of different Disney movies, and Sora works with the characters we love and fights the villains we love to hate.

Fun gameplay (especially in the sequel) combined with great writing made this an awesome experience for me. With Goofy as a tank and Donald as a mage, the fun never ends. The series has kept going, making games for the Ninendo DS, PSP, and 3D (whatever that is). I only hope they'll make a third, and I hope I can put it in my dusty PS2.

8) Jimmy Hopkins, Bully (PS2)

Jimmy (left) defends a nerd.

  From the people who brought you Grand Theft Auto: GTA Jr. Also know as Bully, this fun yet controversial game followed young badass Jimmy Hopkins as he gained a reputation at his horrid new boarding school, Bullworth Academy. The "cliques" operate more like gangs: nerds hang out at the library and have fun weaponry, greasers hang by the garage, and jocks will tackle you if you mess with them.

Not all mission were as fun as others, but Bully gave us a great protagonist with Jimmy. He wasn't afraid to let everyone know what he was thinking and always stood up to anyone who handed him shit, student and teacher alike. Basically he was the guy you wanted to be in a rough school like this. He was also a unique character in the way that his sexuality was fluid, as he could flirt and kiss select male students as well as his "girlfriends", something yet to be featured in a GTA game. Get on that, Rockstar.

9) Alice, American McGee's Alice (PC)

This is a poster in my room. No joke.

 Better late than never, I got into the dark computer game American McGee's Alice. In this twisted version of Alice in Wonderland, Alice was a mental patient and Wonderland had transformed into a nightmarish hell infested with evil beings. Armed with her trusty knife and aided by the skeletal Chesire Cat, Alice sliced her way through card soldiers, banshees, the Mad Hatter and others before finally having a confrontation with the dreaded Queen of Hearts.

I'm not a big fan of action games on the computer, but this game is so freaking gorgeous it doesn't matter. Seriously, the design factor alone is enough to overlook a few of the more difficult portions and the tricky camera work. Alice is deliciously dry and sarcastic though, so that's always a plus. I own the sequel but have not gotten around to playing it a whole lot yet. But I have time...

10) The Grey Warden and Hawke, Dragon Age Origins and Dragon Age 2 (PC)

A Mage Warden casting a lightning spell.

 My latest craze has been the Dragon Age series. I never played a real RPG before and it took me a while to get into it, but I am officially hooked. In the first game you played the Warden, a character you design and name and pick an origin (they can be an Elf from the woods, or Dwarven royalty, among others). Then it's your duty to save the Kingdom of Fereldan from the impending blight. A fun cast of characters, both good and evil, contribute to epic battles and literally hours of fun.

Hawke kills an enemy in Dragon Age 2.

In the sequel, you play Hawke, a young man or woman who flees Fereldan during the events of the first game. While the backstory is always the same, more or less, you hero is fully voiced (unlike the original), giving a more movie-like feel to the series. While the party members may not be AS fun as the original cast (Sebastian downright sucks) the game is still wicked fun. I've already given it one playthrough and cannot wait to return.

Whew! Alright, so that's my life in video games. And I've got years left to go! Cannot wait. I should mentioned I have an on/off addiction to The Sims which has been "off" for a few years now. Still, they lay around the house taunting me sometimes. But I resist. Thank you.

Coming in Last is still a Victory, right?

Alright so today has been a long day. I didn't have to work either of my jobs, so what do I do? I do the Pittsburgh Challenge, that's what.

The "race" is part of a Challenge Nation series that sets up all sorts of "Amazing Race"-esque challenges in cities all over the country. It's really a neat little system. Teams of anywhere from 2 to whatever run around the city trying to find different "clues" and take pictures with landmarks or people on the street. Can't use cars or taxis or bikes...just feet and public transport (a.k.a. buses). A couple weeks ago my cousin suggest we (me, my cousin, her husband, and my sister) form a team and compete. I agreed, since it sounded like a good time since we'd all be together (they all live out of town).

Well race day came and my cousin, her husband, and their kids were ALLLL sick. So our team quickly forged itself of me, my sister Sadie, and her friend Sarah. I had not learned any of the rules or anything, since I figured my cousin would know, so I learned as much as I could in the 12 hours before the race.

Our team assembled and signed in. Sade and Sarah were in a very ridiculous mood. "slaphappy" is too light a word. "Idiotic" sounds harsh. But think along those lines. We ate lunch near the starting line (Jerome Bettis Grille 36) and after laughing ourselves to tears over nothing funny at all, I made a Facebook posting: "We are screwed".

And then the race began. We were a tad late leaving from lunch, but honestly it didn't matter. People were running full speed as soon as we started. The first five teams get cash prizes and a chance to enter in some bigger race. We didn't think for a second we would be near the first five teams; really we just challenging ourselves to not go home and nap.

So, let's do a photo walk-through of the race, shall we?

1. One of the clues was to take a picture of either a liscence plate from out of town with a W,X,Y, or Z in it or a dog or a live horse or a segway. This was seemed kind of easy, since THE PARKING LOT BY THE RACE WAS FULL OF THE RACERS' CARS, SOME OF WHOM HAD COME FROM OUT OF TOWN. I would like to add that, despite what this picture may look like, I was not high.

2. Another clue was to take a picture of yourself in/near a theater. Well, I happen to work at the Pittsburgh Public Theater so we walked across the bridge into Downtown and...I went to work on my day off. F*ck. I also went to get help with some of the clues from my Pittsburgh-native friends. We got a few results and then pressed on.

3. This one was weird. You had to find a person who lived in a state with an ocean shoreline and then make that shape with your body with them....idk. This was our first usage of my strategy: ride another teams' coattails. This man was from Virginia...so we made Virginia? Trust me, in the end no one cared.

4. Next was to find the Fish Market and try some Cantaloupe Gazpacho. Gazpacho, by the way, is cold soup. Cold soup isn't bad: cantaloupe is disgusting. Those are forced smiles on our faces; we really want to spit out the soup. 

5. This is the train place thing...I really forget the clue. FUN FACT: The police were there to arrest racers for trespassing so everyone had to take a picture like this with the building in the background. I thought it would be funnier to get pics of the police handcuffing/beating/macing us. I was overruled.

6. We next had to find two Furries (there was a Furry convention in town all week) and take a picture with them. Sarah was a bit apprehensive about talking to Furries (it's an unfortunate social stigma) but these two were very nice. I do hate asking people to pose for pictures with us, some people seem annoyed by it. But really, Furries, let's not pretend like you don't want a little extra attention.

At this point we took a totally unnecessary detour through the alley where the Cell Phone Disco is. Then we strolled around the alley for no other reason except for the fact it was shady and cool (it was a hot day). We left when Sarah said the alley "smelled like rape".

7. So...we had to take a picture with someone wearing a college sports team article of clothing, and act out said sport. This nice gentleman happened to see us running strolling leisurely around and offered his services. He asked what they should pretend to do, to which Sarah deliriously said "We could pretend like we're wrestling", followed by about 10 seconds of awkward laughter from our team. We decided that the girls are "tackling" him and he's the quarterback...he was a good sport, to say the least (Get it?!?!?!? SPORT! HA!)

8. We headed to the T (Pittsburgh's answer to the Subway) to return to North Shore. There was a clue where we could make our own picture as long as it pertained to Father's Day. This man had a child. They both look thrilled, don't they?

We got on the T and had a nice little ride where we ran into another team. They were two girls who worked at the Cheesecake factory and this was their first day off in months. The one girl was SHITFACED out of her mind and, holy crap, was it hilarious. I mean really, I died. She talked about one clue where we had to walk into a cascading fountain. She said "I'm going face first into that fountain, I'm gonna tear my freakin' nose off and sue Pittsburgh" and then playfully chewed on her clue sheet. I wanted to be her friend but forgot to exchange numbers. Damn.

9. Ok so there's a cascading fountain near the river, and it's near a landmark where the first World Series was played and we were supposed to walk to the middle and get the skyline in the back...well...the skyline is kinda in the back...and you can see the fountain water...and you can see how many f*cks we give that it's not a great picture. (We don't give any f*cks).

10. We had to find the statue of Mr. Rogers, which was near the start/finish line. His face got cut out of the picture, but let me just say his face is creepy as hell. I mean the statue's face, not Mr. Rogers. Also our faces are getting better and better. You can see I'm holding onto his finger: I took it when we left. I played fetch with a dog in the park with it later. I think Mr. Rogers would have liked that.

11. We employed our favorite rule: follow behind another team by about fifty feet and see what they do. It led us to the statue of The Chief himself, that was part of a clue we were really about to give up on. Yeah.

So we headed back to the "finish" line where there were so many people already done it was pathetic. I signed us in: we placed 280th!!! With a run time of 2 hours, 22 minutes, and 52 seconds! I showed my pictures to the girl to "verify" them to say we got the right pictures. I cannot emphasize this enough: this girl did not give two shits, because we were team 280 and who cares what pictures we have, at least we made it back to the car. I could have shown her pictures of my cats and last week's dinner and she would of been like "ok great, thanks".

Prize for 280th place was a bottle of water and a white t-shirt. I still have my sister's t-shirt. And everybody gets a bottle of water. There were probably (I've been told) a little over 300 teams so...yeah. We get a D- in racing. But oh well, we had a fun time. Perhaps we'll shoot for better next year? We shall see.

Oh, and we got to record our time/team name on the "big red poster" for the world to see. Taking a suggestion from the girls from the lunch we had two and a half hours before, I signed our team name:

The family with kids nearby did not seem amused by this name. Guess how many f*cks we gave?

Jambalaya, Jobs, and June in General

Summer is here friends. I have been out of college for a solid year, and damn it feels like it went by way too fast. But I'm ready to accept that it's here, and boldly can't wait to step into the summer.

My first task in re-associating myself with life was an attempt at cooking again. I can't say I ever cooked frequently, but I used to like to try a new recipe or something from time to time. Lately, however, I have been either working or sleeping so "cooking" now consists of "heating" or "add water and stir". But I had a day off so I turned to my trusty Paula Deen cookbook and looked at a recipe for Jambalaya.

JAMBALAYA!!! Yum. Noticed the brownies in the background. Not mine.

I had never made/eaten Jambalaya before. For such a hard word to say, it was quite a simple thing to make. A little chicken, sausage, rice, tomatoes and a bunch of spices all cooked together for a delicious little meal. I knew I hadn't cooked in ages when I went to our spices in the cabinet and saw ALL this stuff I didn't know we had ("surely I'll need to buy some bay leaves...oh, I guess we have them...cool").

Secondly, I have restarted my job search. While I do enjoy the jobs I have now, I simply need more money so I've returned to submitting application after application to the Internet. So, fellow job-seekers, I feel your pain. I can only do so much applying before telling myself I'm not qualified to do anything and digging a spoon into the ice cream carton.

Thirdly, I'm looking to actually have some fun this summer (how unique, I know). Next Sunday my cousins, sister and I are doing the Pittsburgh Challenge 2012, essentially an "Amazing Race" type challenge just through the city of Pittsburgh. I'll try to snap photos and blog about it after the fact, should be a fun time had by all.

Speaking of running, my friend Kait has started doing some run training with me, in one of my fantasies of running a half marathon next year to check something off my bucket list. It's a tall order but I think I'm up to the task.


What else is there? I want to see more movies and plays to keep up with my (recently neglected) other blog. My friend Chelsea is having a birthday celebration at a Pirates game over the summer, so that will be another fun thing I'm looking forward to. I'm also going to try to get back into writing, now that I finally got my lazy ass to add Microsoft Word on this computer. Perhaps I'll post some things onto this blog if I feel like sharing.

I came to a realization yesterday that most people I know are entering a big transitioning phase in their lives. Some people are moving, others a preparing for their wedding, others are starting new jobs, etc. While I initially saw it as a scary, changing time I have now come to accept these changes and look forward to them. Here's to Summer 2012! May as well live it up, because we could all be dead come December!