Apocalypse isn't the End of the World

As I write this I'm trying not to sweat. My air conditioner is pointed directly at me and I'm still disgusted with myself. I can't help it, I come from a sweaty people. A customer at my restaurant today said "It's nice we finally had a day of good weather." To which I responded, "I'm only outside for one minute and then my shirt gets wet." Which was probably more information than she wanted, but that's what she gets for making small talk about the weather. People like to get cheeky; "You'll miss then when it's snowing!" No, I won't. I'll wear all my favorite hoodies and my snow boots and be fine.

I've come up with one good trick for beating the heat this summer: tear off your skin. Makes it harder to sweat.

The sweat is also not helping this feeling of being burnt out. I've seen two plays these last two weekends and each one required a review written for The Pittsburgh Stage Online Magazine (go, click, give them a follow, all that crap. I'm obviously not in charge of marketing.) I'm not complaining about getting tickets to see theater because it is absolutely something I love doing. But each review requires a recap of what happened, some opinions of performances/writings/designs, and then a bit of an explanation as to what I think the play's message or theme is. All of which has to be written in a way where I feel I come off as intelligent. For these last reviews I've been struggling with that last part.

I've just seen a wide variety of shows lately and they're all fighting for space in my head. I've seen ancient Greek tragedies, an Irish play, a Sherlock Holmes play, and a musical from the fifties that is still incredible to watch. I know, I'm just too cultured. Or as cultured as someone with underboob sweat can be. But the ability to watch and understand theater is important and I write my reviews to encourage people with similar tastes (possibly in my age group?) to see theater whenever they have the opportunity. As I wind down on my month of reviews I'll be singing a musical (that I love) based off a movie that's starring a cast member from Glee. Art comes in all forms don't it?

Speaking of art, last week "they" released photos of the new X-men movie Apocalypse, which is coming out months from now. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm someone who doesn't get excited until I'm actually seeing the movie. Trailers and photos aren't for me. But people were up in arms about the appearance/design of the character Apocalypse (Oscar Isaacs):

That's him in the middle.

I'll be honest; I think it's fine. It doesn't spark anything in me one way or the other. But from the way people carried on you'd think Apocalypse was the end of the world (HA, goodnight everybody). For one thing, this is one shot of the movie. The character could go through some changes, this could be early on, we don't know if this is what he'll look like. Even if it is, this is a superhero movie and things should be allowed to look a little silly.

Look at his face though; there's some emoting going on there. Maybe a bit of sadness. Like acting. Who knows? Let's judge after the movie is over. Remember how we all hated Quicksilver's design and that turned out fine? Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as this guy:

Yeah, Juggernaut was never meant to exist in live action.

But some people had the audacity to negatively compare the above Apocalypse design to Ivan Ooze, the villain from the 90's Power Rangers: The Movie.

Excuse me? That's fucking awesome! Ivan Ooze was great; he was centuries old and wanted to rule the world, same as Apocalypse. You could have the actual Ivan Ooze stand in for Apocalypse in the X-men movie and it would be great. Have Paul Freeman reprise the role, it'll be even better. Ivan Ooze almost succeeded in killing a whole city's parent population, tell me that's not evil. Almost orphaned thousands of youths. Shit.

I feel myself getting silly the more I talk about it. Does this discredit what I said earlier about being cultured? Eh. Oh well.

Music to listen to: "We Need a Hero" - Power Rangers Redux (*makes me wanna go out and kick something)
Last Book I finished: Silence of the Lambs
Here's a Picture of a Rainbow I saw the other day

Kissing is Gross, Killing is Fine

The AMC hit series The Walking Dead has had some good episodes since returning from it's mid-season break this year. The show is based on the graphic novels of the same name and focuses on a group of people who are trying to live through a world infested with zombies. The show has featured many gruesome scenes in its past 5 years, but some people took offense to what happened in the last episode:

That's right, two men kissed. The horror.

It's true that up until last year this show could be seen as a winner in a homophobe's mind, as there were apparently no gay people that survived the end of the world. The lesbian character Tara was introduced last year and even had a girlfriend for about two episodes, but they weren't terribly big characters at the time and the girlfriend met her end anyway. But now we have two more gay characters, Aaron and Eric, who are in a loving relationship and shared an intimate kiss.

Most of the complaints I saw online were people who didn't want the show "shoving gay shit down our throats." Well let me put it this way: you don't have to approve of it, but you'd have to be a moron to think this doesn't exist. Walking Dead is science fiction but the world these characters lived in was based on our world. Our world that has gay people in it. Gay people who kiss sometimes.

Now this isn't a "gay visibility on TV" issue. This is an "I think you guys are watching The Walking Dead wrong" issue. If you watch this show for intense bloody zombie-killing fun, that's not the right reason. I mean, sure, you get bloody zombie-killing fun, but this show is about characters. If you want to watch people kill zombies, just go pick up any video game on the subject and you can do that.

This show is about human beings and what happens to them when society falls. Take Rick, for example. Started as the heroic cop kind of guy and now he's a hardened, paranoid leader who ties people up first and asks questions later. Former housewife Carol lost her family and has become a woman who is willing to make difficult sacrifices for the greater good. Carl is a boy who is essentially having his childhood taken from him by monsters (also he shot his mom), and who knows what kind of effects that'll have on his personality. It's about them. Like Rick said two episodes ago, "we are the walking dead."

You think gay people wouldn't be around in the zombie apocalypse? Please. Know who is used to situations where it feels like the world is against you? Gay people. Know who has experience in avoiding danger? Gay people. Know who would love the opportunity to just take a freaking bat and bash some heads in? Angry people. Some of whom are probably gay.

There are much worse people to be trapped in a zombie-ridden world with. Like, I don't know, KIDS. Kids will always bring you down in any disaster situation. Because they're young and don't know better, they do stupid things. How many horror movies have you seen with a child in it who ultimately fucks something up? They're the worst. Baby Judith is cute as hell but every time she cries she threatens to bring zombies raining down on our heroes. That's a huge liability. I wouldn't hang out with that group. Oh and how about those two girls Carol looked after? Remember how the one was a sociopath? Sure, that can happen to anyone, but still another good reason not to travel with kids.

It's unnerving for me to see people around my age saying things like "keep this shit off our TVs". No. This is life now. This will never stop. You're going to have to get used to this or stop watching TV. Might I suggest reading? You could try reading The Walking Dead comics...

...Awwwwww. Damn it. I guess you're screwed.