The Fool Reads: Little Bee and Little Blackie

Well another month has gone by, so we know what that means: I have read two whole books! Not even fairly large books, mind you, it just takes me awhile to get things read. Both stories feature strong female narrators trying to make their way in unknown territory. While they share that in common, the two are really quite different.

Little Bee by Chris Cleave

The first book, recommended to me by friend Chelsea, is about a young Nigerian girl, Little Bee, who recounts her tale from her village to an immigration asylum to reuniting with Sarah. Sarah is a British magazine editor who had a traumatic encounter with Bee years ago while on holiday with her husband. The book has each woman take turns narrating and they tell us about the events that happened as well as move their current lives forward.

These women are very different from each other, and each views the world differently. Little Bee is very mature for her age, and talks to the reader in a very conversational-like way. Having lived a hard life, she speaks bluntly about such topics most people would find uncomfortable. For example, she explains early on that she constantly fears the men who are hunting for her will find her. Therefore, in any situation she is in she plots a way she could kill herself if she had to, in order to escape a worse fate from the men.

"In the canteen there was a television that was always on. I began to learn more about life in your country. I watched programs called Love Island and Hell's Kitchen and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? and I worked out how I would kill myself on all those shows. Drowning, knives, ask the audience."

-Little Bee, Little Bee pg 49. Cleave.

Sarah is a bit more depressed as a character. Having lived a much better life than Bee, she has a harder time dealing with the traumatic event that occurred when they first met (I won't ruin it for you). Her problems may seem more small-scale compared to Bee's, but that also makes her more easier to relate to. She goes through her life with a certain numbness, but she does eventually snap back into living after reuniting with Bee.

"Still shaking, in the pew, I understood that it isn't the dead we cry for. We cry for ourselves, and I didn't deserve my own pity."

-Sarah, Little Bee pg 96. Cleave

All in all, Mr. Cleave writes a very interesting and harshly realistic story. It is especially fun to get into the head of Little Bee, who despite being young and foreign has a great grasp on the world around her. The events that happen are very dark, and the ending is harsh as well, but that makes for a great read.

Side note, there may be a film version of this movie in the future featuring Nicole Kidman as Sarah. Fun Fact.

True Grit by Charles Portis

My first interaction with True Grit was seeing the new film over a year ago. I loved the film (as I said in my review) and finally got around to reading the novel it was based on.

Grit is told from the perspective of young Mattie Ross, a girl who sets out to capture Tom Cheney, a man who murdered her father in cold blood. Cheney escaped through the Indian land and joined up with criminal Lucky Ned Pepper and his gang, so Mattie enlists the help of ruthless Marshall Rooster Cogburn and Texas Ranger Lebeouf in order to track the man down.

Mattie is an old woman looking back on her story, and the script reads like you sat someone down and just asked them to talk to you. She pauses to explain things (some that don't need explaining), goes off on a few side tangents, quotes the bible, and makes a few judgements on her traveling companions. Hers is a frank but perfectly realistic way of talking, which often leads to funny results.

"Nature tells us to rest after meals and people who are too busy to heed that inner voice are often dead at the age of fifty years."

-Mattie Ross, True Grit pg 36. Portis

The story is a dangerous one but instead of focusing on the rough Marshall Cogburn (another great character) it focuses on this very mature little girl who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Mattie proves that strong female characters existed way before Katniss Everdeen graced the pages. She has good common sense, a very adult way of dealing with things, and a wit she uses even in the face of danger.

"-A little smut will not harm you."

"-Yes, that is true, or else you and your 'chums' would surely be dead."

-Lucky Ned Pepper and Mattie Ross, True Grit pg188. Portis

I definitely recommend this book to anyone. The afterword written by Donna Tartt suggests this book may be one of the best written, and I agree it is quite a classic. 

Charlie Brown and Me

A common game my friends and I do at work is cast ourselves as cartoon characters. Recently we came to the conclusion that I am the "Charlie Brown" of our little "Peanuts" group. My friend Jodi confirmed: "That means you're the center of our group but we all secretly hate you". We decided Jodi would be Lucy.


Now before I continue allow me to point out that Jodi apologized right after that sentence and that I am 95% sure they all don't hate me. And if the truth lies in that 5%, then all the better for me to live in ignorance. But what does it mean to be a Charlie Brown?

The first Peanuts comic. Poor Charlie never had a chance.

Being Charlie Brown is somewhat similar to being Meg Griffin from Family Guy. Meg has a lot in common with Charlie Brown: both are abused by their friends and family for no apparent reasons. Both try to stay optimistic in a world where bad shit always happens to them. Both have a white dog that steals the show All. The. Time.



So why does Charlie Brown put up with that? Well I assume that, like me, he knows his friends are kidding and would have his back if he needed them. I also suspect Charlie has a thick skin; his friends mock him openly but he still puts them on his baseball team and in his Christmas pageants. People, including myself, sometime like to show their support and affection through sarcasm and harsh language. For example, if a friend of yours comes up and says "Oh gee, guys, I'm having a bad day" the proper response would be "oh no, what's wrong?". Whereas me and my folk would say something like "Oh, well why don't you post about it on Facebook before you get your period?" or something in that vain.

Sometimes people need a scapegoat for their anger. They are pissed at the world so they take it out on someone they know is a friend; that way they get rid of their anger without worsening a situation. It can be tough to be that scapegoat sometimes, but after years of practice you learn to shrug it off and go with it. Take Lucy for example. She always pulls the football away from Charlie Brown before he can kick it. And you know why? Because Lucy's a bitch. But tricking Charlie makes her feel better, and in return she's always there for him when he needs advice (for five cents, please).

Oh fan art, gotta love it.

What else do I have in common with Charlie Brown? I share his insecurities, for sure, but I feel like everyone can feel like CB in that respect. It would be weepy to say life hands me shit, and false because I have had a good life so far. But perhaps in little ways life may hand me shit. Like getting a rock instead of candy on Halloween. I get rocks sometimes instead of candy. You just say "aaaggh! I got a rock!" and move on with life. Or sometimes you throw that rock at Violet, and take her candy.

I also share CB's need for attention and affection, the way he gripes when he doesn't get a Valentine's Day card. Take right this instant, for example: it's midnight, I have no reason to be awake, but I'm blogging about how I'm like a comic strip character known for being the butt of everyone's joke. It's a lame situation, but it's totally something Charlie Brown would do.

 But there's plenty of good about being Charlie Brown. For starters, you appreciate all the good you have in life: Your dog playing Red Baron on his doghouse, that scary-ass demon tree from Hell not eating your kite. You face the day with an unwavering optimism: today will be my day, I'm gonna kick that football and finally talk to the Little Red Haired Girl. Even though you know you'll land right on your ass in both instances.

And so I will embrace my inner Charlie Brown. Everyone may mock him, but in the end he's a Good Man (musical reference). Now I'm going to go to my front porch and sing "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes. Because that's what Charlie Brown would do.

The Fool Reads: Clash of Kings and Rachel Dratch

It's been a long month of March and April, and I embarrassingly only have two books to show for it. However one was crazy long (and I admit, I read slow). So here are some thoughts.

First up, the second in A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin: A Clash of Kings. I will admit, I got into this book series after seeing videos of the series on HBO. While that sort of makes me a wagon-jumper, I have no regrets arriving to this fantasy series a bit late. In my spare time I suffer from an addiction to the computer game Dragon Age, and I have come to realize I must have some sort of soft spot for the dragon-slaying, sword fighting crowd.

But the reason I really love this series is the huge ensemble cast. I love well-written characters and George Martin gives a whole slew of them, each giving their own perspective on the goings-on in the country. At the center of this novel is Tyrion, the clever dwarf who always has a hilarious wisecrack and a plan up his sleeve. We also get chapters from Jon Snow who is off dealing with all sorts of nasty things in the forest, and we get two new narrators in the rascal-y Theon Greyjoy and the "onion knight" Davos Seaworth.

Emillia Clarke as Daenerys

I confess to being partial to the amount of strong female characters this series offers, my favorite being the self-proclaimed Queen of the Dragons, Daenerys. Like the first book, she spends her time away from the rest of the main characters, but her trials are one of the most challenging and I secretly hope she'll take the crown one day. Other strong women include Catelyn Stark and her young daughter Arya, who both show of their strengths: Catelyn emotionally and Arya physically. The other Stark daughter, Sansa, is growing on me. In the first book she was incredibly naive, which made it frustrating to read her chapters. However, in this book she has grown more and it's more entertaining to see her struggle to survive.

I also have to give a shout out to Varys, the eunuch, who is probably my favorite male character. He doesn't serve anyone whole-heartedly: he does what is best for his kingdom, and what is best for him. We never get inside his head and that really adds to his intrigue. I hope he stays around for future books. I also enjoyed the addition of the character Brienne, a mannish woman who serves as a knight for King Renly (who is in a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship with Ser Loras, who is technically his brother-in-law. Gay drama!)

I really enjoy the TV series, and happily I finished the book BEFORE the entire season aired. There are supposed to be seven in this book series, and only five are released. I would like to tackle the third, but they take so long (this one was 1,000 pages) I need some lighter reading in between epicness. Which brings me to:

The last book I read, courtesy of Kindle: Girl Walks into a Bar: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle by comedian Rachel Dratch. Dratch was a star on Saturday Night Live for seven years, and was cast members with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph (my personal dream team). She was always one of my favorite cast members ever, and I'm puzzled as to why she's not a household name like the rest of her ladies. Her most famous character was Debbie Downer, a woman who always brought down the room with a horribly depressing fact (usually cat AIDS statistics).

Dratch starts off her book talking about showbiz, answering some questions about SNL and about her work on 30 Rock (she was originally supposed to play the role played by Jane Krakowski). Her book doesn't have as many "laugh out loud" moments like Tina Fey's did, but it was really entertaining due to the conversational way she writes.

Dratch as Debbie Downer

She tells stories about her early work in Second City (where she met Fey) and some behind-the-scenes stuff on SNL, which I love reading about. While she keeps an optimistic feel throughout the book, she doesn't shy away from admitting some harsh truths: Hollywood sees her as the "lesbian best friend" caricature, she hasn't really worked long term since 30 Rock, and she even read comments saying she was replaced by Krakowski because she was the prettier actress (and at times, Dratch worried that was the case herself).

The second half of the book deals with the discovery that Ms. Dratch was pregnant at age 43. Since it was considered an impossibility, she thought the child-bearing time of her life was over and never dreamt she'd become pregnant. When she did, by a man she dated for six months, she stepped into the role of mother, although not so gracefully or willingly. She doesn't harp on "the joys of motherhood" or anything; rather she pokes fun at herself for being disgusted by a breast pump and loathing baby showers.

She sums up her attitude perfectly in her closing chapters (Spoiler alert? Can you spoil an autobiography?). She says a typical call from her agent would be for a movie: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Maya Rudolph are in it playing superheroes. They want Rachel to play Amy's obese, lesbian, alien mother. Dratch happily agrees to do the film for little money (the producers thought she'd like to work with her old friends). She then hangs up the phone and goes to her baby Eli. She plays with his little feet and his toes, and says there is no better feeling.

A Trip to Mountain Stage

(Joan Osborne)

Yesterday I returned to my old college grounds, Morgantown WV, to see another Mountain Stage Concert. If you don't know, Mountain Stage is a radio program that is recorded in West Virginia. Concerts feature about four or five different artists in genres like folk, bluegrass, jazz, soul, gospel, and more. Most of their shows are recorded in Charleston but they do a few shows each year in Morgantown. I only got into these shows last year but I try to hit them all up when I can and I subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. While I don't always love everything I hear, Mountain Stage has helped me discover plenty a new artist (or at least, new to me).

The first performer was a young woman named Lera Lynn. She and her band (two boys, one on guitar and one on bass) have been opening for Joan Osborne, who was the headliner for this show. She has a good strong voice and some fun songs as well. She closed with the song "Good Hearted Man" and the link will take you to the music video version of that song, which is quite entertaining.



The second act was a bluegrass group called Leftover Salmon. The lead singer is a WVU alumni and the crowd was very responsive to him. There was some amazing guitar and banjo playing with this group, I was blown away by the rapid fingering of guitar strings. Probably because I have no patience when I tried to learn guitar so I'm impressed by anyone who does.






Next was a folk singer named Sylvie Lewis. This woman quickly became my favorite act of the evening. She performed solo, accompanying herself on the ukelele, piano, or guitar depending on the song. The songs were very pretty, as was her voice. In between songs she would tell funny stories in her beautiful English accent. Not many people could tell a story about someone farting in an elevator with class, but Ms. Lewis sure did. After the show I bought her CD and had her sign it, not something I usually do but what the hell she was there. She signed the booklet of the CD with an "Isaac is fabulous". I loved it.
Here's the music video for her song "The Fish and the Bird".

The fourth act was probably the most popular with the crowd: The Punch Brothers. I had never heard of them, but I did notice their names on a track from The Hunger Games soundtrack, so I feel like they're doing quite well for themselves. I really enjoyed them as well, they have a lot of great songs on their new CD "Who's Feeling Young Now?". There are great vocals and equally good string playing in this young bluegrass band and I hope to hear more from them. Here's them performing "Patchwork Girlfriend".




The final act of the night was blues singer Joan Osborne. If you don't recognize the name, her most famous song is "One of Us" which you've most likely heard. The song was recorded quite a few years ago and she now has this awesome mature blues voice that she really knows how to use. Her new CD is called "Bring It on Home" and all her material was great. Listening to her felt like being in some sort of blues cafe, she was definitely a great note to end the show on. Here's a more recent version of her singing "One of Us". I was going to post a video of her singing something from her new album, but screw it, here she is singing "Ain't No Sunshine".

So yeah, that was my awesome weekend. Gonna go use up the iTunes gift card now...

A Message from the Devil...Puppet

Greetings, and happy Friday the 13th.

My name is Be$%#@$%(*FEET%@$^&*. You probably can't pronounce that, but you can refer to me as Lester. I am a devil. Not THE devil, but A devil. Allow me to elaborate.

I used to live in (or possibly near) the land known as Prague. I was a marionette, and for you who may not know what that is, it is a form of puppet. Not like those annoying Muppets that have tainted the name of puppetry, but a puppet you operate using a string system to move their arms and legs. Like that film Pinocchio or that disgustingly cheerful song in The Sound of Music portraying men that fall in love with goats.

Anyway, Prague (or somewhere near it) was a lovely land where I lived with a little family of marionettes and our manipulator, Heimlich. Heimlich loved us all, but that didn't stop him from selling us to tourists. I had watched so many of my loved ones leave me, each one a different shape, size, and color. No two of use looked exactly alike. I had grown to care for my little family and had I any tear ducts would have wept upon being sold.

I don't know how long I remained in the suitcase. Possibly just for a few days, possibly a whole week. I remember getting a nosebleed; I assume that was when I was on the airplane. First time flier! When I was finally unpacked I was abruptly attacked by four cats. I thought "this must be some sort of shelter" but no, there are actually four cats in this house. When you're a marionette, cats are public enemy number one.

I was given as a gift and taken upstairs to a little room away from the cats. I now sit on a desk next to a large computer. My only other companion is a stuffed cow with a black t-shirt that says "RENT" on it. We don't talk much. I have come to realize: I'm in America.

I haven't seen much of America. Actually I've just seen this room. I've learned a few things though. Apparently, in America there is no water or beer: just Diet Coke. Or at least, that's all this human drinks. Some days I can't see over the wall of empty cans in front of my face. Not that there's much to see anyway. This human sleeps at least 12 hours a day. He wakes up at 5 am, leaves for four hours, comes back, sleeps for another 3. I mean, I'm a puppet but I move more than he does.

But I suppose I shouldn't complain. He talks to me sometimes. And he practices trying to make me move. He's quite good; so far I can wave "hello" with my left hand while doing absolutely nothing else.

Little does he know I can move on my own, and whenever he goes to his alleged "jobs" I get onto his computer and take over. I have bought a good deal of useless merchandise on Amazon.com and have set up my own Facebook account (friend me!). I think I'm going to like it here. And if I don't...I'll just have to take it over....ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Just kidding.

Or am I?

No, I am.

Right?

Sleep with one eye open.

That's the eye I'll rip out of its socket.

Happy Friday the 13th.

A Tribute to My Little Deathtrap

I have recently suffered a loss. It is a frivolous loss, to be sure, but a loss nonetheless that has shaken me up. After roughly 3 years of driving it around personally and x amount of years riding in it, my Ford Taurus (a.k.a. My Little Deathtrap) finally kicked the bucket.

It wasn't a great car, to be honest. My mother drove it before me for years and then she got a Vibe and through some weird lines of succession, the oldest child inherits the crappier car. The brakes were never great, I had to learn to start breaking a lot sooner than I would in anyone else's car. There always some sort of mutant squealing noise coming from under the hood that caused pedestrians to turn and look at us, both in awe and disgust. Ah, the memories. Here are a few highlights of this car's life under my care (which probably led to it's early demise).

-During the winter of my sophomore year, I was driving to class with my roommate Helene. It was very icy and our apartment complex was on a hill. Coming down around a curve I started sliding and before I knew it My Little Deathtrap was sliding sideways down a hill. Rather than scream or anything, Helene and I stayed perfectly still (she in fact held a spoonful of yogurt in midair as we slid) until we slid to a stop. When we approached a red light at the bottom of the hill I realized I was sliding yet again, and was going to crash into the car stopped at the light. So, not really thinking, I pulled into the other lane (where cars come AT you) and slid right past the other car onto the main road in one quick movement. We laughed through our fear.

-My friend Mara and I once ordered Chinese food before driving off to see a show (Suessical, I'm afraid). We ate all our food but threw the trash in the backseat (we were rushing). A few days later I noticed my car smelled HORRIBLE. Like a dog died in a garbage bag full of human flesh that stayed out in the sun too long. I eventually located the source: there was broccoli in the Chinese food trash. I don't like broccoli. There's no way something that smells like THAT can be good for you.

-On my first day moving into a new apartment complex my Junior year of college I had to go to the main office to get something, probably keys or some shit. Upon leaving the office parking lot I turned right to go to my apartment...and cut the turn too tight and scraped a medium sized brick fence. The bricks collapsed (no one ever learned it was me) and was eventually rebuilt. Deathtrap got a scratch on her that is still there to this day. Battle scars.

-Senior year, coming back from a trip to Erie with my cousin we got stuck in a traffic jam. She was driving a truck and it was kind of cramped. I had a small claustrophobic attack from being in the traffic jam but eventually we made it back to Washington PA so I could pick up my car I'd left in the Walmart parking lot. Upon getting there, I knew I had to buy some windshield wiper fluid because a BLIZZARD was coming. I bought the fluid after saying bye to my cousin and poured it into my car. Then I realized: I'd poured it into the antifreeze tank. Worried that if I started driving my car it'd blow up, I started to panic thinking the blizzard would surely take my life and I'd die in Washington, PA. I finally got a hold of my uncle who told me, essentially, to calm down and that everything was fine. It was.

-Winter in general was a rough time for My Little Deathtrap. In addition to the aforementioned sliding on the ice, the doors would often freeze closed...or open. When they froze closed I would heat up some water and pour it on the cracks of my doors. It was kind of trashy looking, but it did the trick. But then somehow my doors would freeze open. As in, would not latch so whenever I went around a corner I would have to LET GO OF THE WHEEL and grab the door. I finally wised up and started tying my seat belt around the door handle, which did the trick but the light would keep flashing over my head and the car would keep dinging. I swore a lot in the winter.

-Once, Mara, my sister, and our friend Darby drove from Moundtown to Pittsburgh to see a show. After getting Darby I hit a pothole that went deep into the mouth of Hell. By the time we got to Pittsburgh, that tire was crazy flat. They've covered that pothole since, but I still live in fear of it.

-Over the years my dad has had to make a few repairs to this car. While I know NOTHING about cars, my dad knows a bit more but I question some of his methods. The most questionable being using a garden hose piece (and some duct tape) to replace the wiper fluid tubing. Yeah.... If you're wondering: no, it doesn't work well.

-After my first show working at the PPT, I was driving home at around 10:00 PM. While driving near the Strip District I got a flat tire. I pulled over into a parking lot and tried to put the spare on. I couldn't. So I called AAA and told them I needed a tire change. After waiting an hour and a half in the FREEZING COLD a truck came and the driver informed me he couldn't get it off and it would have to be towed. I waited another hour for a tow truck. He took me to what would eventually become my recurring Goodyear location. He told me Highland Ave wasn't a great place to leave your car at night. I informed him I left my car there every single night. He didn't offer me a ride home. I ran home down the dark cold street to my house, ran to my room and stayed there for at least a day.

-In one of her last missions, My Little Deathtrap drove my friend Chelsea to her other job....on Saint Patrick's Day. She handled it like a champ, weaving in and out of cars and drunk bitches without killing hardly anyone.

-Once I had to jump my roommate's car in a Giant Eagle parking lot. Like, the middle of a parking lot...like had to push her car out into the road so the jumper cables would reach our vehicles. After we did she told me "we just both need to get rid of our cars". One week later, my car died. If nothing else I follow through.

-And now, the story of her passing. I was seeing a movie with my friend Ryan and on our way back I got my dumb ass lost. I went to turn around in some middle of nowhere place when the car just died. Like stopped running, power steering gone. I managed to start her up again but she was shaking violently. Eventually called AAA yet again to get a tow truck, and my roommate Bethany to drive Ryan back to his house. While waiting for them, a cop car drove by and told me to "watch myself, this is a shady area". I said "thanks, I'll take my flamethrower out of the glove box". I finally got the tow truck to my trusty Goodyear. AAA paid for the first three miles and I had to pay for the rest. We drove 10 miles. I watched my driver take out his phone to subtract 3 from 10 and get 7. Not kidding. Harsh trade, isn't it? I know nothing about cars, but can do second grade math.

When I got to Goodyear the next day, I was told to "sit down over there, I'll get Bob". Oh shit. No one ever calls on their manager in a Goodyear to tell you everything is going to be fine. It's like a hospital. Bob came out and said "the engine is shot. It's been leaking antifreeze into the water valve" or something like this, all I heard was "you are so FUCKED". He told me to replace everything would be around $2,500 or I could get a Goodyear car. I asked to go home and "think about it" which meant "go home and lose my mind in a panic". After discussing it over with parental figures (ma still owes the car) we decided it was best to cut her lose. Originally I was going to give her over to Goodwill (yeah, that's a thing) but then a man who works at Goodyear offered to take her off my hands for $100. I know that isn't a lot, but screw it: it'll get the little burden out of my life and will cover what Goodyear charged. Yeah, it costs $100 for them to tell you your car will never start again. Makes sense right?

So there it is, the end of an era. Now entering the era of bus passes and walking. If you read this whole thing, good for you you can be my friend. If you ever had the privilege/terror of riding in My Little Deathtrap, I hope you remember the memory fondly. I'd share more memories, but I'm tired. And I have to wake up early to catch the damn bus.

Things I Read

I often don't blog about the books I've read, mostly because I read a good bit of ridiculous things. I enjoy fiction, and I tend to lean towards the fantasy/sci fi genre (not the coolest option, but I like what I like). I'm also partial to "celebrity" autobiographies: because I personally believe that anybody's life story can be made interesting if you write it properly. So, three months into 2012 and I'd like to talk about some of the things I've read.


My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me: Forty New Fairy Tales
Edited by Kate Bernheimer, with a foreword by Gregory Macguire
Summary: A collection of reinvented fairy tales by a variety of different authors. They stories are separated by region (Japanese fairy tales, German, French, etc) and range in terms of how adapted they are.
My Thoughts: A collection of short stories or tales is a bittersweet thing: you encounter really good stories, and you encounter some less-than-good ones. But the good ones are always worth it, and the same is true in this collection. Some of my favorites pieces were written by authors such as Neil LaBute, Neil Gaimon, Stacey Richter, Aimee Bender, and Kevin Brockmier, just to name a small few. I really liked the notes written by the editor Kate Bernheimer, who really seems to enjoy her field of work (fairy tales). Definitely a good read if you enjoy re-imaginings of classics.



The Hunger Games Trilogy (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Mockingjay)
By Suzanne Collins
Summary: The young adult series is picking up popularity due to the eagerly awaited film version. The books are set in the future where the country is divided into Districts and each year, two children (age 11-18) are selected to compete in the Hunger Games, where they must fight their competitors to the death. Katniss Evergreen volunteers to fight for her sister Prim, and the series focuses on her competing in the games and eventually becoming a symbol of rebellion in the country.
My Thoughts: I know, I know, I'm jumping on a bandwagon of sorts. But I can't help it; I really liked these books. In first person we really get into Katniss' head and she's such a strong character who makes smart decisions even when life continually throws shit her way. Her life has been a hard one, she makes Harry Potter look like a total wuss. The books move at an exciting pace, mostly because lives are constantly in danger. It's a young adult book, but it gets dark near the end. Definitely a good read if you're skeptical about seeing the film.


My Horizontal Life
By Chelsea Handler
Summary: In her first book (before her talk show and eventual fame) Chelsea recounts some of her sexual escapades from her youth, in the salty, frank way she only knows how.
My Thoughts: I kind of did this backwards, since this is her first book and I read it last. Her other books, Are You There Vodka? and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang are so entertaining. I don't watch Chelsea Lately anymore, and I fear Handler's 15 minutes of fame are winding down. However, I think she's a great writer and that's where her true strengths lie. If she were to quit her show and just write books and do comedy I think she would do just fine. She tells simple stories but makes them interesting with her unique nicknames (Dumb Dumb and Fat Ass to name a few) and her frank way of dealing with people. A fun, funny read.

Bossypants
By Tina Fey
Summary: The former Saturday Night Live head writer and current star/creator of 30 Rock talks about her life and experiences in this funny memoir.
My Thoughts: Tina Fey is probably one of my favorite people, a statement I know I'm not alone in saying. She is just a genuinely funny woman and an incredibly hard worker. She didn't have a traumatizing childhood, or if she did she doesn't get into it in the book. Rather, she talks about her times starting out doing the Second City, or having trouble writing comedy after 9/11 happened. Her book is the first book I bought with my Kindle and it was a great decision. Great read.
A Sample Quote: "On at least three occasions, I vomited on Christmas Eve from mixing chocolate, peel-and-eat shrimp, summer sausage, and cheese. No alcohol was involved." -Tina Fey, Bossypants pg 117


Frankenstein
By Mary Shelley
Summary: In this classic (often considered the first horror novel) Dr. Victor Frankenstein recounts his experiment to recreate life, and the creature that haunts him for bringing him into the world.
My Thoughts: I haven't read the book since high school, and it was one of the few I actually enjoyed in high school. Going back over it again, I enjoyed it once more. The chapters with the creature narrating are so great: imagine what it must feel like being born as a grown man? Not knowing anything about life or people or language or religion and having to figure it all out on your own. Such an interesting topic and a good read for nostalgia purposes (also it's free on Kindle).
A Sample Quote: "If such lovely creatures were miserable, it was less strange that I, an imperfect and solitary being, should be wretched." -The creature, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein pg 59


The Math Teacher is Dead
By Robert Manners
Summary: In this novel a wealthy young man named Danny Vandevere gets his life shaken up when he discovers the body of his math teacher during his morning jog. As he tries to figure out who could do this, more victims pile up and Danny is forced to grow up as he deals with multiple lovers and someone who is out to get him.
My Thoughts: Ok, so this book was free on Kindle so I got it. And...let's just say sometimes you get what you pay for. The book was kind of an awkward read. For starters Danny is perfect: he has money, he's great looking, he's well-hung, he's a nice guy, and he can get practically any guy to have sex with him. And that would be fine if we were supposed to mock him, but we're actually supposed to empathize with this kid, and it's hard to do that with such a perfect character who seemingly has no faults. The dialogue is a clunky at times and at others is just plain unrealistic. A lot of characters don't get developed very well, like Danny's serious boyfriend Jeremy. The ending is also oddly predictable but very forced. I'm not sure who the target audience was for this book, but I don't think it would please many. It's an interesting idea, but it wasn't executed too well.


Life as I Blow It: Tales of Love, Life, and Sex...Not Necessarily in That Order
By Sarah Colonna, with a foreword by Chelsea Handler
Summary: Sarah Colonna is a comedian and a writer/panelist on Chelsea Lately. While her popularity is not as strong as Chelsea's following, anyone who's watched the show regularly knows Ms. Colonna is a hilarious person. In her book she tells tales of her dating/love life, as well as her trials of trying to find work in show business.
My Thoughts: I know, I know, yet another female comedian's book I'm reading. I can't help it; I love 'em. Ms. Colonna is a very smart individual. Her writing is hilarious, which is expected, but what was delightfully unexpected was her willingness to show her vulnerable side (something Chelsea Handler rarely does). She doesn't pretend to know everything, yes she somehow makes some very smart observations. I feel like it's definitely a great read for young females who need to learn how to calm the fuck down about their love life. Actually, it's probably a great read for everyone.
A Sample Quote: "I think it's common for people to take things for granted until they're gone, which was something I had learned from the band Cinderella and their song "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)." -Sarah Colonna, Life As I Blow It, pg 50

And there we have it. Currently I'm reading the second book in the "A Song of Ice and Fire" series, A Clash of Kings. My goal was to read it before the second season of Game of Thrones premieres April 1st. I probably won't reach that goal, but I will surely enjoy trying.